Mind activities of a Stone boy

It is almost year end. I am staying with Dad at his room. I am typing away my thoughts here and he is sitting there watching TV. "I could feel how you feel for Raja and Jedi. I am feeling that for a human being, though.. It is my Dad. Dad is really getting older and older. I am spending most of my time with him here in Taipei. I am writing this email right at his bed side. Spending time with him made me realize that death is waiting for him, me, and everyone else. There is a beginning and there is an end. In between is the interesting/challenging/exciting/difficult part. :-)" I could simply concentrate on the things that I need to do, for work, to research traveling in Japan. The pain and doubtful feelings come from my restless mind. I am constantly in want of excitement and short-term gratification.

Poems about "Life & Death" by Rumi look at love how it tangles with the one fallen in love look at spirit how it fuses with earth giving it new life why are you so busy with this or that or good or bad pay attention to how things blend why talk about all the known and the unknown see how the unknown merges into the known why think seperately of this life and the next when one is born from the last look at your heart and tongue one feels but deaf and dumb the other speaks in words and signs look at water and fire earth and wind enemies and friends all at once the wolf and the lamb the lion and the deer far away yet together look at the unity of this spring and winter manifested in the equinox you too must mingle my friends since the earth and the sky are mingled just for you and me be like sugarcane sweet yet silent don't get mixed up with bitter words my beloved grows right out of my own heart how much more union can there be { come on sweetheart let's adore one a

(http://www.gbmc.org/voice/foreign.cfm) Tips on Reducing Accent * Watch the mouth movements of native speakers! Observe the mouth movements of native American speakers. Repeat what they are saying, imitating the intonation and rhythm of their speech. * Slow down! Until you learn the correct intonation and rhythm of English, slow down your speech. If you speak too quickly with the wrong intonation and rhythm, native speakers will have a hard time understanding you. * Use your dictionary! Become familiar with the phonetic symbols of your dictionary and look up the correct pronunciation of words that are hard for you to say. * Ask someone! Make a list of frequently used words that are difficult for you to pronounce and ask a native speaker to pronounce them for you. Record these words, listen to them, and practice saying them. * Listen to books on tape! Listen and read at the same time. Record yourself reading some sections of the book. Compare the sound of your En

* All you have to do is to pay attention; lessons always arrive when you are ready, and if you can read the signs, you will learn everything you need to know in order to take the next step. * We humans have two great problems: the first is knowing when to begin; the second is knowing when to stop. "Marie, let's suppose that two firemen go into a forest to put out a small fire. Afterward, when they emerge and go over to a stream, the face of one is all smeared with black, while the other man's face is completely clean. My question is this: Which of the tow will wash his face?" "That's a silly question. The one with the dirty face, of course." "No, the one with the dirty face will look at the other man and assume that he looks like him. And, vice versa, the man with the clean face will see his colleague covered in grime and say to himself: I must be dirty too. I'd better have a wash." "What are you trying to say?" "I'm sayi

(Notes from the retreat) * Meditation is to identify the seeds in us so that we could nourish good seeds and avoid bad seeds. * mental formation coming out of seeds stored in us. Seeds are passed on both by our parents and ancestors. * mental formation is manifested as energy * 5 skandas (1. Form (aka body) 2. Feeling 3. Perception 4. Mental Formation 5. Consciousness) * to be = to inter be * to be empty = to be empty of a separated self (to be empty... to be empty of what?) * contemplation of the body in the body

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace, Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy; O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

* always strive for the higher skills for the same old trick * always look at the same old routine with fresh perspective * realize the habit of surfing for news on the web, it lies on the immediate need for some instant thrill. why do I need that instant thrill? It is not good for me in the long run. * topics to research: a. pronunciation - how to improve my pronunciation

I shall never expect things to stay the same. Things won't ever stay the same. Friendships with old friends change. They usually wither without being tendered or through distance and time. I can't expect that old friends treat me the say way that they did before when we were new friends. Hopefully, we all grow old and wise at the same time.

Whenever I am feeling down, I should pick up a pen and write down the gratitude that I have for my existence... 1. I am grateful for people to come to my house and watch the movie with me this afternoon. 2. I am grateful for all the words of wisdom that they share with me. 3. I am grateful to a small condo that I own. 4. I am grateful to the projector that I could borrow to show the film. 5. I am grateful to people that cleaned up the dishes before they leaf.

Ten Wholesome Qualities In Our Minds In the broadest conception of the path, in the vast context of spiritualpractice, we cultivate and nourish certain qualities that support and propel us forward into freedom. The Pali word parami refers to ten wholsome qualities in our minds and the accumulated power they bring to us: generosity, morality, renunciation, wisdom, energy, patience, truthfulness, resolve, lovingkindness, and equanimity. . . . Parami does not come from some being outside ourselves; rather, it comes from our own gradually accumulated purity. A Buddhist understanding of reliance on a higher power would not necessarily involve reliance on some supernatural being. It is, rather, a reliance on those forces of purity in ourselves that are outside our small, constricted sense of I, and that constitute the source of grace in our lives. -Joseph Goldstein, Insight Meditation from Everyday Mind, edited by Jean Smith, a Tricycle book

The famouse Ginsberg's poem Ginsberg etc. http://cda.mrs.umn.edu/~beaversg/ginsberg http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Howl

The day following Halloween: What a beautiful sunny day today! Isn't one of the ladies at the party said that statistically it is always a sunny day after the Halloween day? Thanks to everyone's support that I could enjoy this happy sunny day. :-)

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose By any other word would smell as sweet." --From Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

THE HEART SUTRA Om Homage to the Perfection of Wisdom the Lovely, the Holy ! Avalokita, the Holy Lord and Bodhisattva, was moving in the deep course of the Wisdom which has gone beyond. He looked down from on high, He beheld but five heaps, and He saw that in their own-being they were empty. Here, O Sariputra, form is emptiness and the very emptiness is form ; emptiness does not differ from form, form does not differ from emptiness, whatever is emptiness, that is form, the same is true of feelings, perceptions, impulses, and consciousness. Here, O Sariputra, all dharmas are marked with emptiness ; they are not produced or stopped, not defiled or immaculate, not deficient or complete. Therefore, O Sariputra, in emptiness there is no form nor feeling, nor perception, nor impulse, nor consciousness ; No eye, ear, nose, tongue, body, mind ; No forms, sounds, smells, tastes, touchables or objects of mind ; No sight-organ element, and so forth, until we come to : No mind-consciousness elemen

To read more about the script and to learn the slangs. http://www.un-official.com/GWH/GoodWillS.html

From http://www.davecheong.com/2006/08/14/18-ways-to-stay-focused-at-work/ Over the years I have worked at many client sites and a variety of office layouts. On one project in particular, we had as many as 80 people in a project team, seated via an open plan arrangement. It was pretty difficult trying to stay focused in an environment like this. These days, the projects I’m on are typically smaller, but there are still a number of distractions which frequently interrupt my working groove. So what are some of the things we can do to minimise such interruptions and distractions? Here’s my list of 18 ways to stay focused at work: 1. Write out a daily task list and plan your day. There’s nothing like a task list sitting next to you to keep you focused. When you have a list of the things you need to accomplish in a day, having that close to you constantly reminding you of what needs to be done is a great way of keeping on track. 2. Allocate time slots colleagues can interrupt you. In a busy

Love is patient, Love is kind, It does not envy, it does not boast, It is not proud, It is not rude, It is not self-seeking, It is not easily angered, It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. Love Never Fails. Corinthians 13 : 4 - 8

I did something different tonight. Went to the Freer gallery to see a Chinese film called Ox Hide, but the camera work was too low tech that it was difficult to finish. I walked out of the movie in the middle of it. I am back home now. I could sense that I could have spent all my time surfing mindfulessly. Instead, I caught myself and started to write this blog down. I just went to the library and borrowed a book about Sufism so I should go ahead and read that. There are mindful things I could always do. Don't live mindlessly! Live mindfully!

I was able to speak elegantly and fluently yesterday at the public at Shambhala Center. It was easier b/c I was speaking from the heart. How often do I do things based on my own heart? Like tonight, I went swimming and gardening through discipline and habitual pattern. I felt well and then I ended up surfing porn and saw some negative seeds (images) in my head. I know that those are unwholesome seeds. (Perhaps, just learn to live with them now. I have unwholesome seeds in me that I don't need to push them away.) The heart of equality... treating the positive seeds and negative ones equally. If I am able to do so, I could get through this mental jungle of bias and noise to touch my own heart. Once my action is based on my own heart, I will be at the better place. Why? I will feel less conflict. The action is more consistent with my intention which shall come from the heart. I will feel centered and equanimity. The heart (the power of spirits) need to be cultivated... When I am tired

Here is what I did.. 1. Went to Ubuntu website, download ISO image for workstation version. 2. Burnt into a CD 3. Booted Inpiron with this CD. 4. It starts Linux in CD and has an option to install Linux. 5. Click on Install icon in Ubuntu. 6. Follow the steps 7. Surprisingly, it recognized the network cards (both wire and wireless) by default. 8. Use System->Administration->Networking to set up wireless network in no time. What an amazing and speedy experience!

1. Quote.. He was the buddy that I swim with when the sign posted "do not swim alone". * Technique 1. An actor perform the action with her own commentary about herself as the third person as she performs step by step. 2. Walk into the invisible house and show people what the house is like. * Think Why do we only need "I, you, s/he" in addressing people?

1. Irregularity 2. Board Walk (by the beach) 3. fringe festival

Speaking of "Bad Mojo", I can never escape it. We walked dowm on the beach drive and saw the HP beach bash by the ocean drive. Most of the alcohol has run out except for cheap Vodka. There was no ice, either. People seemed very enthusiastic and joyful, however. Steve and I had some shots and that made me out of control for the rest of the night. We left and went to Mango bar. The visual stimulation is beyond my description. The bartenders were all so beautiful in the extremely skin tight clothes. The dancers/singers... it is visual stimulation to its maximum degree.

1. All the profits should be cashed in immediately regardless the $$ amount. 2. Do not get attached to the particular stocks. Nothing ever stays the same or predictable. 11/03/2006 (Painful lesson from WFMI 20% crash after earning report) 1. Sell the shares while it is all time high. 2. Don't chase the shares thinking if it would go up more after it has run up in a very short period of time. 3. Stock do come down!!

Leonard Cohen - Suzanne Lyrics Suzanne takes you down to her place near the river You can hear the boats go by You can spend the night beside her And you know that she's half crazy But that's why you want to be there And she feeds you tea and oranges That come all the way from China And just when you mean to tell her That you have no love to give her Then she gets you on her wavelength And she lets the river answer That you've always been her lover And you want to travel with her And you want to travel blind And you know that she will trust you For you've touched her perfect body with your mind. And Jesus was a sailor When he walked upon the water And he spent a long time watching From his lonely wooden tower And when he knew for certain Only drowning men could see him He said "All men will be sailors then Until the sea shall free them" But he himself was broken Long before the sky would open Forsaken, almost human He sank beneath your wisdom like a stone And

It was such a delight to have them around at my place. John demonstrated how to say love to others in an open/spacious way rather than in a vulnerable way. He said to Kevin, "you are a wonderful guy," and to Brent, "I admire you", to Nick, "I always love you". Then there was a silence. The moment of silence is a great opportunity to observe what is the intention behind John's words. Here is the great quote from the Tibetan book of living and dying. "Compassion is far greater and nobler thing than pity. Pity has its roots in fear, and a sense of arrogance and condescension, sometimes even a smug feeling of "I'm glad it's not me." As Stephen Levine says: "When your fear touches someone's pain it becomes pity; when your love touches someone's pain, it becomes compassion." To train in compassion, then, is to know all beings are the same and suffer in similar ways, to honor all those who suffer, and to know you are n

I went to the French embassy last night and heard the talk given by this monk. He is talking about what happiness is.. * Pleasure is different from happiness. * Happiness can't depend on the conditions. * Pleasure is a condition. It is so ephemeral. The normal sense of happiness is so linked with pleasure. When the conditions for pleasure don't exist, one ususally feel bad and negative. * The true happiness comes from within. * The basic level/state of happiness that a person can achieve can be improved through meditation. * The experiement on mice with agitated genes mingling with nurturing/peaceful mice produces the evidents that the agitated genes were blocked in the environment. * The meditation is an internal way of cultivating mind and stimulate the growth of mind. * The chart shows the curve of happiness experienced by marriage. It spikes on the first year and it goes down hill after 5 years. * The chart shows the curve of happiness experienced by windowhood. It sinks on

We are formed and molded by our thoughts. Those whose minds are shaped by selfless thoughts give joy when they speak or act. Joy follows them like a shadow that never leaves them. - Buddha A man who is seeking for realization is not only going round searching for his spectacles without realizing that they are on his nose all the time, but also were he not actually looking through them he would not be able to see what he is looking for! - Ask the Awakened by Wei Wu Wei

Este fue a la plaza Esta compro un huevito Este lo puso a asar Este le echo la sal Y Este gordito gordito, se lo comio todito todito

Saint Francis And The Sow The bud stands for all things, even for those things that don't flower, for everything flowers, from within, of self-blessing; though sometimes it is necessary to reteach a thing its loveliness, to put a hand on its brow of the flower and retell it in words and in touch it is lovely until it flowers again from within, of self-blessing; as Saint Francis put his hand on the creased forehead of the sow, and told her in words and in touch blessings of earth on the sow, and the sow began remembering all down her thick length, from the earthen snout all the way through the fodder and slops to the spiritual curl of the tail, from the hard spininess spiked out from the spine down through the great broken heart to the blue milken dreaminess spurting and shuddering from the fourteen teats into the fourteen mouths sucking and blowing beneath them: the long, perfect loveliness of sow. © 1980 by Galway Kinnell My note: sow (n) 1. 1. An adult female hog.

This was the third time that I visited L's family. I could remember that her Dad used to be able to stand on a cane, but no more. I remember that I used not to have belly visible, but the belly showed up in front of the mirror in the locker room. Things don't change over night. That happens gradually. Patience is the key. Perseverance is the key, too. Doing little things step by step with every minute that I have. I will be alright.. Figure out that answer and go for that at this wonderful moment.

Almost 15 years ago now when I was fresh new in this country, it was my first time to go to NYC. I went to see my girlfriend then. The plan was to meet up with her brother who worked as a lawyer in midtown Manhattan and took the company taxi with him back to her parents'. I vividly remember how unsafe I felt when walking on the dark streets in Manhattan. I tried to follow a man who walking in front of me right after I exited the subway stop or port authority.. He seemed frightened, too.. It was obviously the projection of my imagination. The other week, I walked to a friend's place along the Conn Avenue. It was pitch dark and close to 11:00pm. The night walk reminded me of the previous experience in Manhattan. I didn't feel unsafe walking along the dark side of the street off Conn Avenue. It was the similar air of temperature.. not sure why.. I just thought about my first NYC visit experience then. It really validates that I conjure up the fearful situation in my head. I wa

I tend to drink coke, hunch over staring at the computer screen, surf mindlessly, eat more than my body needs, have an extremely disheveled desk, feel sluggish, feel rigid, feel clogged in my qui flow inside, do not think clearly... I can stop and pause, then cultivate my awareness. Bring metta to myself. Ask myself what is the smallest step I could do now to remove myself from this state of unawareness. And Do it..

Talking to sister tonight regarding the rigidity that I have felt recently about my inability to communicate with other people. I started to sense my thoughts are not as fluid as before. I don't interact with people in a fresh way....

Whenever my impulse is tricking me to do something harmful mentally or physically, think of the consequences. If I truly love myself, I would take good care of myself when I am tired or hungry. It is the opposite to make my fatigue turn even worst, isn't it? Harming myself is a manifest of self-hatred. If I can't even love myself, how would I even have ability to truly love others? The logic is pretty simple b/c the true love sets one free and is without any condition. That same goes with self love. If love is such an abuse word in this context, think of it as a self care. Take good care of my own spirits during the time of difficulties. The spirits will shine and soar when my time comes. Be patient and take good care of myself mindfully....

Hokusai Says by Roger Keyes Hokusai says Look carefully. He says pay attention, notice. He says keep looking, stay curious. He says there is no end to seeing. He says Look Forward to getting old. He says keep changing, you just get more who you really are. He says get stuck, accept it, repeat yourself as long as it's interesting. He says keep doing what you love. He says keep praying. He says every one of us is a child, every one of us is ancient, every one of us has a body. He says every one of us is frightened. He says every one of us has to find a way to live with fear. He says everything is alive --shells, buildings, people, fish,mountains, trees. Wood is alive. Water is alive Everything has its own life. Everything lives inside us. He says live with the world inside you. He says it doesn't matter if you draw, or write books. It doesn't matter if you saw wood, or catch fish. It doesn't matter if you sit at home and stare at the ants on your verandah or the shadows o

I got up very early in the morning to volunteer at the kitchen. I did the drink table serving them orange juice from the tank and canned apple juice. I worked along side with a nice fellow, Tom, from Glover Park. Witnessing all the people that asked for juice, I could just keep on doing my job without any emotional exchanges. They were people from all kind of backgrounds. I did see one asian man, and no asian women... I didn't recall seeing hispanic women, either. There were some clean cut white guys who look 100% normal and healthy to me. I wondered what their stories are. Most of latino men were very polite. Some black men were aggressive and a bit sneaky, and some other were very polite, too. I went to the men's room just before taking out. The men's room is turning into a public bath house. It is built by the stainless steel oozed with human waste and filled with odor. I could only imagine how the life is to be homeless or mentally ill. Driving back home to take a showe

"Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. It was a cowboy's life, a life for someone who wanted no boss. What I didn't realize was that it was also a ministry. Because I drove the night shift, my cab became a moving confessional. Passengers climbed in, sat behind me in total anonymity, and told me about their lives. I encountered people whose lives amazed me, ennobled me, made me laugh and weep. But none touched me more than a woman I picked up late one August night. I was responding to a call from a small brick four-plex in a quiet part of town. I assumed I was being sent to pick up some partiers, or someone who had just had a fight with a lover, or a worker heading to an early shift at some factory for the industrial part of town. When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under such circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away. But I had seen too many impoveris

Be with that lonely feelings. Do not run away. Be with that negative feelings. Don't run away. Be with the feelings that you can't meet someone special. Don't run away.. Examine it. Be friendly with that negative feelings. The negative feeling could be my worthy opponent, which I could learn a lot from. Look clearly through what is behind that feeling. Once the cause is understood, there is clarity and peace. Reactive mode and escaping always build up more sufferings in the future. Be at peace with myself, which is the goal. Be with it.. Be an alchemist... transforming a negative feeling to a positive one.

It is a constant practice. I found myself obsessed with certain things. I know that in theory the beautiful things and the bad things are not the problems. The problem is my attachment and aversion to them. The area that I need to work on is to minimize the attachment and aversion. I know it well that when the feelings are so strong, my mind is blurred. What are the things that I could do to bring clarity back to my head? 1. Exercise (Swimming, hand stand, running) 2. Ask myself Kaizen questions. What is a small step that I could take to change the current situation that I do not like. for instance, how would I clean my desk? how would I focus more on my work? 3. Breathe slowly 4. Hang out with Sangha friends. 5. Practice metta.

The Radio show on WAMU about this concept. What I could do is to ask myself a small question daily... A creative attempt per day.. 1. What is the small step that I could take to strip out the wall paper? 2. What is the small step that I could take to organize my table?