Mind activities of a Stone boy

Books Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi,  Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience  (a wonderful review of the research on flow and how we can get in the zone) Martin Seligman,  Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment  (a great introduction to the work on happiness generally as well as the power of using your character strengths) Carol Dweck,  Mindset: The New Psychology of Success  (a lovely introduction to the power of a growth mindset) Elizabeth Dunn & Michael Norton,  Happy Money: The Science of Happier Spending  (an elegant overview of the research on the science of spending, explaining how you can get more happiness for your money) Free Online Talks Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s  TED Talk - Flow, the secret to happiness Carol Dweck's  TED Talk - The power of believing that you can improve Michael Norton's  TEDx Talk - How to buy happiness Matthew Killingsw...

Rethink “Awesome Stuff” Invest in experiences rather stuff Boven & Gilovich (2003).   To Do or to Have? That Is the Question.  Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85(6), 1193–1202. This paper tells us it is better to do than to have - experiences make people happier Kumar et al. (2014).   Waiting for Merlot: Anticipatory Consumption of Experiential and Material Purchases.  Psychological Science, 25(10),1924-1931. This paper tells us experiences have a longer-lasting effect on happiness Pchelin & Howell (2014) .  The hidden cost of value-seeking: People do not accurately forecast the economic benefits of experiential purchases.  The Journal of Positive Psychology,9(4), 322-334. This paper tells us when looking at future purchases we’re more likely to value material purchases over experiential purchase but when looking at past purchases we’re more likely to value experiences over material goods Boven et al. (201...

Annoying Feature #1 Our minds’ strongest intuitions are often totally wrong Gilbert & Wilson (2000).  ” Miswanting: Some problems in the forecasting of future affective states. ” In Thinking and feeling: The role of affect in social cognition. New York, NY: Cambridge University Press. Pages 178-197. This book excerpt defines miswanting which is the act of being mistaken about what and how much you will like something in the future Annoying Feature #2 Our minds don’t think in terms of absolutes; our minds judge to relative reference points Medvec et al. (1995).   When less is more: Counterfactual thinking and satisfaction among Olympic medalists.  Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 69(4), 603–610. This paper tells us due to the power of salient reference points, bronze winners tend to be happier than silver medal winners Lyubomirsky (2007).   The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want.  New York, NY: Peng...

* For TED story telling: http://blog.visme.co/7-storytelling-techniques-used-by-the-most-inspiring-ted-presenters/

Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness by Robert Waldinger. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KkKuTCFvzI The Secret to Self-Motivation | One of the Best Speeches Ever https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Lz0VOltZKA

Needs and Wants I want a nice designer handbag that I can carry to work. But do I really need a designer handbag? How is what I Need different from what I Want? Need:  Condition required for human life • Physical/Biological: Oxygen, water, food, stimulation, activity, rest, physical safety • Psychological: Security, pleasure, comfort, identity, self-esteem, achievement • Social: Affiliation, intimacy, acceptance, community Want:  What we prefer to have For example, I want a nice designer handbag that I can carry to work. But essentially, apart from a bag that can hold my keys, wallet, and cell phone, what I need is self-esteem, achievement (“I have earned enough to afford designer handbags now!”), social recognition and affiliation (“Many of my colleagues have designer handbags, and I want one too”). Purchasing a designer handbag may not be a bad way to meet these needs, but it is not the only way. Can you think of other ways to satisfy self-est...

I had this feeling for quite some time now. The feeling that the external world feels like a mirror that is constantly reflecting my inner state. When a positive environment makes me feel positive, it is not that the environment is intrinsically positive, it is rather that I am feeling positive and I project that positive feeling outward. Same goes true with the negative feeling and emotion.  With this similar logic, I feel that this mirror is constantly reflecting my strength and weakness, my wonderful side and my ugly side.. as well as my dull side. It is so wonderful to have this realization. I remember in my teenager years how much I cared about my physical appearance and will stare at a mirror for a long time to check the contour of my face. Now that similar trait carries over to my internal look, which is the state of my mind.  The world is the spotless mirror that is constantly reflecting my mental state. When I pay attention to this mirror a bit more, I c...

Here is the picture that talks of the 6 paramitas in Chinese :-) Below is from Wikiepedia: In Mahāyāna Buddhism, the Prajñapāramitā sūtras, the Lotus Sutra and a large number of other texts list the six perfections: Dāna pāramitā: generosity, giving of oneself (in Chinese, Korean, and Japanese, 布施波羅蜜; in Tibetan, sbyin-pa) Śīla pāramitā : virtue, morality, discipline, proper conduct (持戒波羅蜜; tshul-khrims) Kṣānti pāramitā : patience, tolerance, forbearance, acceptance, endurance (忍辱波羅蜜, bzod-pa) Vīrya pāramitā : energy, diligence, vigor, effort (精進波羅蜜, brtson-’grus) Dhyāna pāramitā : one-pointed concentration, contemplation (禪定波羅蜜, bsam-gtan) Prajñā pāramitā : wisdom, insight (般若波羅蜜, shes-rab) Note that this list is also mentioned by the Theravāda commentator Dhammapala, who says it is equivalent to the above list of ten.[10] In the Ten Stages Sutra, four more pāramitās are listed: 7. Upāya pāramitā: skillful means 8. Praṇidhāna pāramitā: vow, resolution, aspir...

There is really no reason to get too hanged up about the stock market. http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/22/your-money/stocks-and-bonds/advice-after-stock-market-drop-take-some-deep-breaths-and-dont-do-a-thing.html https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/anatomy-market-selloff-mohamed-el-erian

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kumārajīva This is his story told in cartoon style: http://www.amitofo3.net/comic0401.html

I learned another interesting Buddhism phrase.. Here is an explanation for it. https://zh-tw.facebook.com/ddmorg/posts/565273790177768

身是菩提樹， 心如明鏡台， 時時勤拂拭， 勿使惹塵埃。    菩提本無樹， 明鏡亦非台， 本來無一物， 何處惹塵埃？  

If a man keeps dwelling on sense-objects, attachment to them arises; from attachment, desire flares up; from desire, anger is born; from anger, confusion follows; from confusion, weakness of memory; weak memory --- weak understanding; weak understanding --- ruin; But the man who is self-controlled, who meets the objects of the senses with neither craving nor aversion, will attain serenity at last. In serenity, all his sorrows disappear at once, forever; when his heart has become serene, his understanding is steadfast. The undisciplined have no wisdom, no one-pointed concentration; with no concentration, no peace; with no peace, where can joy be? *** Bhagava Gita [2.62-66] http://www.bhagavad-gita.org/Gita/verse-02-61.html

人心如水，混濁的水要經過一夜才能澄清，但是，要把泥沙已沉澱的清水攪濁，卻只需幾秒。 慈母對孩子關心無限，無怨無悔，若人人把這分心擴大到眾生，世界就安樂太平了。 修行的法門如坐禪、念佛，都是為了收心，修行收心是為了改掉假我，找回真我。 病痛使人脾氣變壞，脾氣壞又使身心更不舒服；要補充精神資糧，才能避免這種惡性循環。 在大樹下乘涼的人，比冷氣房中的人更愜意；因為心滿意足，一草一木都是美景。 修行人的心境要像鳥飛過白雲，魚躍出水面一般， 不為消失的事物煩心，讓心靈安詳

This poem speaks to me today as I am feeling a bit sad for no particular reason. Bittersweet A poem by Rumi -- In my hallucination I saw my beloved's flower garden In my vertigo, in my dizziness In my drunken haze Whirling and dancing like a spinning wheel I saw myself as the source of existence I was there in the beginning And I was the spirit of love Now I am sober There is only the hangover And the memory of love And only the sorrow I yearn for happiness I ask for help I want mercy And my love says: Look at me and hear me Because I am here Just for that I am your moon and your moonlight too I am your flower garden and your water too I have come all this way, eager for you Without shoes or shawl I want you to laugh To kill all your worries To love you To nourish you Oh sweet bitterness I will soothe you and heal you I will bring you roses I, too, have been covered with thorns Madonna's version.

I saw this movie probably twenty years ago when it came out. I vaguely remember that it was a very inspirational movie. I was such a lonely young man who knows only love in theory. My take away from the movie is that one has to love everybody in order to gain love from that special someone. That message has stuck in me ever since. Twenty years later now, to love everybody still remains a elusive goal. I could only try and work hard on it. Watching this movie this past Saturday on the Solstice night brings a fresh perspective again. The story of the movie somehow reminds me of the practice of Buddhism. We are given constant rebirth to the human realm to have the chance of practicing spirituality. We'll do it again and again through lots of sufferings and misgivings.. then one day finally awakened and learned... Then really work hard toward the *goal*... I saw this post by a monk online and found it very appropriate. The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new lan...

Satipatthana Sutta (The Discourse on the Establishing of Mindfulness), which is the one of the core scripts for Theravada Buddhism school. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satipatthana_Sutta ) I found this a pretty good interpretation on "contemplating the body in the body". http://buddhism.about.com/od/theeightfoldpath/a/Mindfuless-Of-Body.htm This is even better interpretation: http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/soma/wayof.html Here is the Chinese translation regarding that contemplating the body/feelings/mind/mental qualities in the body/feelings/mind/mental qualities 安住於身，循身觀察 安住於受，隨觀感受 安住於心，隨觀心識 安住於法，隨觀 諸法

translated from the Pali by Thanissaro Bhikkhu I have heard that on one occasion the Blessed One was staying at Savatthi, in Jeta's Grove, Anathapindika's monastery. There he addressed the monks, "Monks!" "Yes, lord," the monks replied. The Blessed One said: "When a monk is intent on the heightened mind, there are five themes he should attend to at the appropriate times. Which five? "There is the case where evil, unskillful thoughts — imbued with desire, aversion, or delusion — arise in a monk while he is referring to and attending to a particular theme. He should attend to another theme, apart from that one, connected with what is skillful. When he is attending to this other theme, apart from that one, connected with what is skillful, then those evil, unskillful thoughts — imbued with desire, aversion, or delusion — are abandoned and subside. With their abandoning, he steadies his mind right within, settles it, unifies it, and concent...

This is a very easy and effective way to bring myself back the the present. I can just tell myself what I am aware of at that moment... it will bring me back the present moment when I find myself lost in thoughts, the future or the past. I am aware of my chewing on food now.. I am aware of the sensation of my finger tips when I am typing.. I am aware of the brightly lit monitor as my eyes stare at it. I am aware of the calling of my wife..

"life is finite nothing is forever all problems are relative" ~~Bob of Holland