I've been in the process of questioning my relationship with $$ lately. I wonder what is it about $$ that gave me some irrational behaviors that caused me some misery at this moment. It would be a long term process to sort this through. It will involve deep understanding of myself, breaking the old habit, and forming the new habit. It will take some time. But at this for now, it is the first step.
From this page.
Archetypes - Guardian
The Guardian is always alert and careful. When your worry gets the best of you, your anxiety might be intolerable or you might feel there’s an impending catastrophe. But when your Guardian is expressed positively, you’re alert, careful, and prudent. Why not pursue a calming activity that you love sometime today, perhaps listening to music, being in nature, getting some exercise, or having fun with a friend or loved one?
You’re probably a Guardian if:
• Your financial decision-making style falls into one of two extreme camps: (1) you feel frozen, unable to make financial decisions even when you think they’re best for you, or (2) you make financial decisions only after excessive analysis.
• You are focused on financial doomsday scenarios, whether for the world or yourself, hence you analyze what-if scenarios much more than most people do.
• You abide by certain fear-driven rules like never having debt or only living off your interest and other income in retirement— never your investment principal.
• Your emotional responses and level of worry are out of proportion to your actual financial circumstances. For example, you might obsessively worry about having enough to pay your bills even though you’ve never actually had the experience of not having enough money to pay them.
• The fear of making the wrong financial decision is more painful than the hope of making a good decision is satisfying.
Painful Emotional States
Anxious
Fearful
Worried
Common Distorted Thoughts (Conditioned Beliefs from the Past)
If I’m not hypervigilant, it’s all going to fall apart.
My worry helps me hold it together.
There is an impending catastrophe.
Liberating Wisdom or Ways to Focus
Today I am going to pursue a calming activity that I love (for example, music, taking a nap, playing tennis or golf, watching a movie, being in nature, reading a book, doing a spiritual practice).
I am most moved to be of service to others by .
I most want to spend time with in the next hour.
Making concrete changes that will simplify my life and financial needs is a high priority.
Archetype(s) You Most Need to Emphasize to Create Balance
Pleasure Seeker: enjoyment and relaxation
Empire Builder: innovation and decisiveness
Innocent: simplicity and adaptability
A Practice
NEVER EVER MAKE FINANCIAL DECISIONS IN THE MIDST OF INTENSE EMOTIONS. The Guardian almost always feels a sense of urgency: “If I don’t decide now, I never will, and...” Write down the decisions you need to make on a three-by-five card, in a journal, or in a handheld computer or phone, and put them off until you’re feeling more centered. Then you can sit quietly and make the necessary decisions, whether by using a pros and cons list or an advisor who can help you find the objectivity you need.
Below is from this page
Archetypes - Saver
The Saver seeks security and abundance by accumulating more financial assets. At worst, you can be fearful, frugal, hoarding or even obsessive when it comes to money, but your gifts are that you’re almost always financially self-sufficient or perhaps in a state of abundance. Today, try making relaxation and enjoyment of your life the highest priority.
You’re probably a Saver if:
• You save more than 20 percent of your earned income each year.
• You spend and give away less than 3 percent of your total financial net worth each year.
• Your net worth grows more than 5 percent from year to year (as you’ll see, this metric can also be indicative of an Empire Builder).
Painful Emotional States
Obsessive
Tense
Hyperanalytical
Futuristic
Common Distorted Thoughts (Conditioned Beliefs from the Past)
If I save enough, I’ll be happy, safe, secure.
I’m worried that I won’t have enough.
I have to keep a close watch on my nest egg.
What am I worth now? How much has that grown/shrunk?
Liberating Wisdom or Ways to Focus
Relaxing and enjoying my life is a high priority in this next hour.
I will find a way to connect to the world through a relationship or one of my passions right now.
My fulfillment is my highest priority today.
Relaxing is a much more important part of my life than I realize.
Archetype(s) You Most Need to Emphasize to Create Balance
Pleasure Seeker: enjoyment, pleasure
Idealist: passion, vision, creativity
Caretaker: relationships, compassion, generosity,courage
A Practice
AUTOMATICALLY SET ASIDE SOME MONEY FOR SPENDING AND GENEROSITY.
Would you be more fulfilled over the long haul if you used less of your money for future accumulation and more for spending on pleasurable purchases, like buying yourself time to do more of the things you love in life? How would it feel to give more generously, whether to charities, neighbors, friends, or family members in need? Set aside some amount of money—$1 a day or $100 a month, whatever feels right to you given your financial and emotional situation—and spend half of it on material objects or experiences that bring you pleasure and fulfillment right now, in this moment (remember, the Saver loves to delay gratification). With the other half, be generous, whatever that means to you. Expect that you’re going to have some conflicts; you’re going to feel nervous
as you spend on yourself or practice generosity. But allow yourself to be nervous, and do it anyway without overthinking. Set this up automatically
so you have less of an emotional battle each month as you work to change your savings habit. For example, have your bank or employer automatically transfer your chosen dollar amount into a separate “play” account each month, or do it one time and don’t allow yourself to use that account for anything other than generosity or spending that brings you immediate pleasure. Does it feel uncomfortable as you try on these ground-breaking behaviors? Do it anyway!
From this page.
Archetypes - Guardian
The Guardian is always alert and careful. When your worry gets the best of you, your anxiety might be intolerable or you might feel there’s an impending catastrophe. But when your Guardian is expressed positively, you’re alert, careful, and prudent. Why not pursue a calming activity that you love sometime today, perhaps listening to music, being in nature, getting some exercise, or having fun with a friend or loved one?
You’re probably a Guardian if:
• Your financial decision-making style falls into one of two extreme camps: (1) you feel frozen, unable to make financial decisions even when you think they’re best for you, or (2) you make financial decisions only after excessive analysis.
• You are focused on financial doomsday scenarios, whether for the world or yourself, hence you analyze what-if scenarios much more than most people do.
• You abide by certain fear-driven rules like never having debt or only living off your interest and other income in retirement— never your investment principal.
• Your emotional responses and level of worry are out of proportion to your actual financial circumstances. For example, you might obsessively worry about having enough to pay your bills even though you’ve never actually had the experience of not having enough money to pay them.
• The fear of making the wrong financial decision is more painful than the hope of making a good decision is satisfying.
Painful Emotional States
Anxious
Fearful
Worried
Common Distorted Thoughts (Conditioned Beliefs from the Past)
If I’m not hypervigilant, it’s all going to fall apart.
My worry helps me hold it together.
There is an impending catastrophe.
Liberating Wisdom or Ways to Focus
Today I am going to pursue a calming activity that I love (for example, music, taking a nap, playing tennis or golf, watching a movie, being in nature, reading a book, doing a spiritual practice).
I am most moved to be of service to others by .
I most want to spend time with in the next hour.
Making concrete changes that will simplify my life and financial needs is a high priority.
Archetype(s) You Most Need to Emphasize to Create Balance
Pleasure Seeker: enjoyment and relaxation
Empire Builder: innovation and decisiveness
Innocent: simplicity and adaptability
A Practice
NEVER EVER MAKE FINANCIAL DECISIONS IN THE MIDST OF INTENSE EMOTIONS. The Guardian almost always feels a sense of urgency: “If I don’t decide now, I never will, and...” Write down the decisions you need to make on a three-by-five card, in a journal, or in a handheld computer or phone, and put them off until you’re feeling more centered. Then you can sit quietly and make the necessary decisions, whether by using a pros and cons list or an advisor who can help you find the objectivity you need.
Below is from this page
Archetypes - Saver
The Saver seeks security and abundance by accumulating more financial assets. At worst, you can be fearful, frugal, hoarding or even obsessive when it comes to money, but your gifts are that you’re almost always financially self-sufficient or perhaps in a state of abundance. Today, try making relaxation and enjoyment of your life the highest priority.
You’re probably a Saver if:
• You save more than 20 percent of your earned income each year.
• You spend and give away less than 3 percent of your total financial net worth each year.
• Your net worth grows more than 5 percent from year to year (as you’ll see, this metric can also be indicative of an Empire Builder).
Painful Emotional States
Obsessive
Tense
Hyperanalytical
Futuristic
Common Distorted Thoughts (Conditioned Beliefs from the Past)
If I save enough, I’ll be happy, safe, secure.
I’m worried that I won’t have enough.
I have to keep a close watch on my nest egg.
What am I worth now? How much has that grown/shrunk?
Liberating Wisdom or Ways to Focus
Relaxing and enjoying my life is a high priority in this next hour.
I will find a way to connect to the world through a relationship or one of my passions right now.
My fulfillment is my highest priority today.
Relaxing is a much more important part of my life than I realize.
Archetype(s) You Most Need to Emphasize to Create Balance
Pleasure Seeker: enjoyment, pleasure
Idealist: passion, vision, creativity
Caretaker: relationships, compassion, generosity,courage
A Practice
AUTOMATICALLY SET ASIDE SOME MONEY FOR SPENDING AND GENEROSITY.
Would you be more fulfilled over the long haul if you used less of your money for future accumulation and more for spending on pleasurable purchases, like buying yourself time to do more of the things you love in life? How would it feel to give more generously, whether to charities, neighbors, friends, or family members in need? Set aside some amount of money—$1 a day or $100 a month, whatever feels right to you given your financial and emotional situation—and spend half of it on material objects or experiences that bring you pleasure and fulfillment right now, in this moment (remember, the Saver loves to delay gratification). With the other half, be generous, whatever that means to you. Expect that you’re going to have some conflicts; you’re going to feel nervous
as you spend on yourself or practice generosity. But allow yourself to be nervous, and do it anyway without overthinking. Set this up automatically
so you have less of an emotional battle each month as you work to change your savings habit. For example, have your bank or employer automatically transfer your chosen dollar amount into a separate “play” account each month, or do it one time and don’t allow yourself to use that account for anything other than generosity or spending that brings you immediate pleasure. Does it feel uncomfortable as you try on these ground-breaking behaviors? Do it anyway!
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