This Sunday I attended a talk given by a senior member in my sangha. The talk emphasizes the point that one could get all the love he needs from himself. There are many ways to paraphrase this concept. It is self-love, the foundation of being able to love others. It is the concept that one could find all the happiness from within rather than from the external sources. It is the concept that one should be self sufficient without the need to count on others to provide happiness.
It is an interesting concept that I have been exploring for many years. I still could not get it emotionally even though I understand it literally. I guess that it is the ultimate solution to the feeling of loneliness and being alone. When one is feeling lonely, usually it is the case when one needs some sort of love, companionship, feeling of connection with others, caring, and etc. If one could provide those kind of loves to oneself, one would not feel lonely any more. In a way, it makes so much sense that there is a Buddha nature in everyone (Buddhism speaking) or that there is a divinity within oneself (Sufism speaking) or that God is every present with you (Christianity speaking). The feeling of loneliness used to give me the feeling that the darkness of the night would never end or that one fallen into a bottomless deep well. Of course, these images are purely imaginations. Feeling lonely and alone would have never bothered a person unless a person identifies those feelings as real and then act out the negative actions accordingly. This illustrates the hazard of over thinking, which is a different topic by itself.
For now, I want to talk about the new meditation technique that I learned during the talk. I will call it self-love meditation. To practice self-love meditation, one sits in the lotus position and images a 5 year old of you laying down on your lap in the meantime. Now, meditate on giving love to this 5 year old of you unconditionally. Meditate on this 5 year old's needs for love, his pains and sufferings, and give any love that he would request and need. After doing this practice for a while, eventually you start to image this 5 year old sit up in the lotus position and merge with the present you. Now, this 5 year old one with the present you receives love which was given unconditionally. Whatever love was asked for is received during the meditation. Just feel and image what is that like. The key point is also for the present you that is one with 5 year old to feel the pains and sufferings that the 5 year old experienced during this love receiving practice.
The end of the talk I asked a question - "If one could get all the love s/he needs from within oneself, what is the point of getting into a relationship?" The senior member said, "a relationship is not so much about receiving is about giving."
It was a pretty profound night for me.
It is an interesting concept that I have been exploring for many years. I still could not get it emotionally even though I understand it literally. I guess that it is the ultimate solution to the feeling of loneliness and being alone. When one is feeling lonely, usually it is the case when one needs some sort of love, companionship, feeling of connection with others, caring, and etc. If one could provide those kind of loves to oneself, one would not feel lonely any more. In a way, it makes so much sense that there is a Buddha nature in everyone (Buddhism speaking) or that there is a divinity within oneself (Sufism speaking) or that God is every present with you (Christianity speaking). The feeling of loneliness used to give me the feeling that the darkness of the night would never end or that one fallen into a bottomless deep well. Of course, these images are purely imaginations. Feeling lonely and alone would have never bothered a person unless a person identifies those feelings as real and then act out the negative actions accordingly. This illustrates the hazard of over thinking, which is a different topic by itself.
For now, I want to talk about the new meditation technique that I learned during the talk. I will call it self-love meditation. To practice self-love meditation, one sits in the lotus position and images a 5 year old of you laying down on your lap in the meantime. Now, meditate on giving love to this 5 year old of you unconditionally. Meditate on this 5 year old's needs for love, his pains and sufferings, and give any love that he would request and need. After doing this practice for a while, eventually you start to image this 5 year old sit up in the lotus position and merge with the present you. Now, this 5 year old one with the present you receives love which was given unconditionally. Whatever love was asked for is received during the meditation. Just feel and image what is that like. The key point is also for the present you that is one with 5 year old to feel the pains and sufferings that the 5 year old experienced during this love receiving practice.
The end of the talk I asked a question - "If one could get all the love s/he needs from within oneself, what is the point of getting into a relationship?" The senior member said, "a relationship is not so much about receiving is about giving."
It was a pretty profound night for me.
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