Mind activities of a Stone boy

A few words from Gangaji

2012-01-12T09:20:00.002-05:00

This morning I saw this message in my inbox and decided to read it carefully. It speaks to me so well these days..

"Whenever you are feeling an extreme emotion, whether it is anger, hurt, despair, or even bliss and you act on that feeling, there can be no clarity.

The feelings are here to be felt. True action or inaction has to come from what lies beneath all feelings.

Ultimately, each of us has a responsibility to ask ourselves, “What do I want?” If you want peace, it is here regardless of what you have done or what you are feeling. If you want war, you know how to go to war. We all do.

What do you want for yourself, for all victims and all victimizers? What do you want for all?

What a challenge.
What an opportunity, right now.

I send you my love and support."

---Gangaji

How to learn handstand...

2012-01-10T12:09:00.004-05:00

My lovely wife just sent me this video which is a pleasant surprise. I've been doing headstand pose for years and it is very easy for me. When I was younger, handstand pose is also quite easy for me. Now, it is a bit challenge. I didn't realize that one can actually transition headstand practice to the handstand practice. This video summarizes it. All kudos to the instruction and wifi who discovered it.

How to learn handstand...

THIS IS YOUR LIFE

2012-01-01T13:14:00.000-05:00

THIS IS YOUR LIFE

THE DUST BROTHERS

and you open the door
and you step inside
we're inside our hearts
now imagine your pain
is a white ball of healing light
that's right, feel your pain,
the pain itself,
is a white ball of healing light
i don't think so

this is your life
good to the last drop,
doesn't get any better than this
this is your life, and it's ending
one minute at a time
this isn't a seminar
and this isn't a weekend retreat
where you are now
you can't even imagine
what the bottom will be like

only after disaster
can we be resurrected
it's only after you've lost
everything that you're
free to do anything

nothing is static,
everything is appalling (evolving),
everything is
falling apart

you are not a beautiful and unique snowflake
you are the same decaying
organic matter as everything else
we are all a part of the same compost heap
we are the all-singing,
all-dancing crap of the world
you are not your bank account,
you are not the clothes you wear
you are not the contents of your wallet
you are not your bowel cancer
you are not your grande latte
you are not the car you drive
you are not your fucking khakis

you have to give up

you have to realise that someday you will die,
until you know that you are useless
i say let me never be complete
i say may i never be content
i say deliver me from swedish furniture
i say deliver me from clever art
i say deliver me from clear skin and perfect teeth
i say you have to give up
i say evolve, and let the chips
fall where they may

i want you to hit me as hard as you can

welcome to fight club
if this is your first night
you have to fight

Turning 2 dimension to 3 dimension

2011-11-20T11:49:00.001-05:00

I always feel that it is really amazing to turn a two dimensional object into a three dimensional one. Here is really a useful one for all those printed paper that hang around in the house.

http://www.netflixorigami.com/tray.htm

There are tons of other origami examples out on the web. It is so easy to learn new stuff these days thanks to the web...

The triune brain model

2011-11-17T22:44:00.001-05:00

The triune brain model was proposed by Dr. Paul MacLean in the 1950s. It states
that humans don't just have one brain, but rather a layer of 3 brains that have
each evolved on top of the other over the course of years: reptilian brain,
mammalian brain, and primate brain.

The Reptilian Brain

This brain is the first to be developed. It is responsible for autonomic bodily
functions such as heartbeat, breathing, and temperature control. It is also
responsible for the most important human needs, such as survival, feeding
and mating.

This brain is part of your subconscious mind. It has a set of pre-programmed
instructions that it will always execute. This brain cannot change or learn from
past experiences. It only understands images, and does not understand language.

Some of the traits associated with the reptilian brain are: aggression, dominance,
obsessiveness, compulsiveness, fear, worship, submission, greed, sex, and
seeking a mate.

The Mammalian Brain

This is the type of brain developed by most mammals on top of their reptilian
brain. It is your emotional brain – this is the brain that is responsible for making
you feel the way that you do. This brain creates chemical messages that allow you
to store information in memory. The more emotionally charged the message is,
the stronger effect on the brain it is going to have.

This part of the brain is able to learn from past experiences. It ensures that you
feel pleasure from the activities intended for your survival, such as eating
and sex. This function helps to ensure that you will continue to repeat the
favorable behaviors. The emotional brain is also able to learn to associate pain
with activities that may threaten your existence, such as getting burned or getting
hit by a car.

We like to think that we make most of our decisions based on what we think is
right. In actuality, however, we make most of our decisions, on what we feel is
right. And this "feeling" is the response that we get from our emotional brain.

The Primate Brain

This is the thinking brain. It controls such things as thinking, language, and
creative thinking. This brain is responsible for telling us who we think we are.

Unfortunately, this brain does not have a priority over its two predecessors. For
example, in an emergency situation, your brain can cause you to automatically
react in a certain way, without you ever having to think about it. This function is
crucial to our survival, but it can also present some real problems if our

subconscious mind decides to take over, as it often does, in non-emergency
situations.

In the next chapter, we are going to take a closer look at some of the possible
triggers (external events) that can cause our reptilian and emotional brains to
take over.

Addition Cycle

2011-11-17T09:05:00.001-05:00

It is a good chart to illustrate the stage of addictive mind.
May I be aware of this chain.
May the clarity shine spot light on this.
May I be free from it.

True Happiness

2011-11-16T13:06:00.001-05:00

This is one of my favorite five mindfulness trainings in the tradition of Thay.

"Aware of the suffering caused by exploitation, social injustice, stealing, and oppression, I am committed to practicing generosity in my thinking, speaking, and acting. I am determined not to steal and not to possess anything that should belong to others; and I will share my time, energy, and material resources with those who are in need. I will practice looking deeply to see that the happiness and suffering of others are not separate from my own happiness and suffering; that true happiness is not possible without understanding and compassion; and that seeking wealth, fame, power and sensual pleasures can bring much suffering and despair. I am aware that happiness depends on my mental attitude and not on external conditions, and that I can live happily in the present moment simply by remembering that I already have more than enough conditions to be happy. I am committed to working in a way that I can help reduce the suffering of living beings on Earth and reverse the process of global warming."

Death is always on the way

2011-11-16T13:04:00.000-05:00

"Death is always on the way, but the fact that you don't know when itwill arrive seems to take away from the finiteness of life. It's thatterrible precision that we hate so much. But because we don't know, weget to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happensa certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How manymore times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood,some afternoon that's so deeply a part of your being that you can'teven conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four or five timesmore. Perhaps not even. How many more times will you watch the fullmoon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless."
-- Paul Bowles, The Sheltering Sky
Narrated by Brandon Lee

Attributes of a Personal Myth.

2011-07-21T10:30:00.000-04:00

Attributes of a Personal Myth.
Dennis Patrick Slattery, Ph.D.

A Personal Myth (PM) is

 A loom on which I weave the raw materials of daily experience into a coherent story (Feinstein and Krippner)
 What organizes my experiences of the world and determines or influences by what categories I will engage the world’s matters.
 What draws me to what I imagine to be true.
 What frames the “als ob” or “as if” quality of my life. The
“as if” quality of my days comprises the mythic principles I live by.
 Always evolving and continually assessing what is working and no longer working for me in my self-definition.
 What can harden or calcify from an organic living quality into a rigid dogmatism that is closer to a cadaver than to a vital life principle.
 What reveals what I believe about myself and the world; it will influence what I believe to be true.
 Related intimately to my organic bodily being and emanates in part from my incarnated presence in the world.
 An inner guide, an inner guru that can open me to larger forces in my interior life and the exterior world.
 What embodies a quest and every quest harbors a question or is motivated by a central question. Each of us must find that question on our own journey, not on someone else’s travels.
 What carries a vitality that is measured in large part by its capacity to and for change.
 Actively engaged in the formation, de-formation and re-formation of my personal identity, which may be the central task of our adult years.
 What carries psychic energies that become concentrated along the plot lines of particular guiding narratives.

A Few Examples of Writing Meditations
Dennis Patrick Slattery, Ph.D.

1. We live our lives in large measure through assumptions we make about ourselves and others, including the otherness of the world. Describe an assumption that gets you out of bed in the morning, that you begin your life with each day. In what ways does this assumption serve you?

2. Describe an assumption that no longer serves you, that is an albatross around your neck, but which you have not succeeded in stripping from your way of thinking and seeing.

3. Our PM reveals itself in what we dedicate ourselves to. What is the compass, what is it set to, and in what direction do I want to give my life purpose? Describe one or two compass setting that I adhere to in order that my life have meaning and purpose. Do I detect within what I serve a whisper or a cry for change, such that my life story would need to bend or torque in a new direction? Describe such an impulse with as much detail as possible.

4. Where and by what means do I seek joy in my life? What do I gravitate towards in order to rekindle a sense of joy and wholeness in what I do and in who I am? Describe small or big ways in which I discover joy and with it, an identity with myself and the world.

5. Transitions are on-going in our lives. We are constantly shifting purposes, beliefs, attitudes, knowledge, relationships both personal and professional What transition seems to be asking for more attention right now in my life? Describe its origin and what relation you are developing with it.

Never Give Up by HH the XIV Dalai Lama

2011-07-15T14:11:00.000-04:00

Never give up
No matter what is going on
Never give up

Develop the heart
Too much energy in your country
Is spent developing the mind
Instead of the heart
Develop the heart

Be compassionate

Not just with your friends
But with everyone

Be compassionate

Work for peace
In your heart
And in the world
Work for peace

And I say again
Never give up
No matter what is going on around you
Never give up

Amor fati

2011-01-05T23:25:00.002-05:00

It is the beginning of the year and I am very inspired Amor Fati and Nietzsche could not summarize it more beautifully...

"I want to learn more and more to see as beautiful what is necessary in things; then I shall be one of those who make things beautiful. Amor fati: let that be my love henceforth! I do not want to wage war against what is ugly. I do not want to accuse; I do not even want to accuse those who accuse. Looking away shall be my only negation. And all in all and on the whole: some day I wish to be only a Yes-sayer." -Nietzsche

Traditional Chinese Remedy for Teeth

2010-12-11T23:46:00.002-05:00

固齒神方

My sister just told me about this interesting remedy. I did a quick search online and found a lot of sites talking about it.

Here are few of them:

* one
* two

Chess playing...

2010-12-05T10:00:00.002-05:00

I've been using chess playing as a way to kill time. Well, time can't be killed. What I mean is that I use chess playing as a way to avoid the boredom of waiting. In the Buddhism practice, it would suggest that I am just staying with myself and be with my thoughts and observe how busy it is, and I don't do anything with the thoughts.

A hazard of chess playing is that it gives me a headache and tiring eyes. It is not very relaxing afterwards. Especially I tend to lose the game and out of focus when I play more games. So, it is funny that the more games I play, the more likely I lose. It is the opposite of a practice.

Moderation is the key, but the chess game is highly addictive. Maybe I will play more chess when I get older as a mental exercise.

I am curious to learn about which part of the brain is active when I play a chess game. Here is an article that I find on the web.

Chess Playing Helps Reveal How Brain Works

For release: Wednesday, May 18, 1994

Tournament-level chess players are helping scientists at the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS) identify parts of the brain used in complex problem solving. These studies have revealed a processing network that is distributed throughout the brain, according to Dr. Jordan Grafman and his coworkers. Grafman, who heads the Institute's Cognitive Neuroscience Section, said that chess playing is an ideal model to help scientists better understand the coordinated work of the brain. The study will be published in the May 19 issue of Nature .*

"Imagine yourself as a chess player about to checkmate your opponent," Grafman said in describing the work of the brain. "All your knowledge and experience are being retrieved for your next move. First, you perceive the pieces on the board and mentally separate the color-coded pieces. Then you analyze their positions on the board, identify the value of the different pieces, and retrieve the rules of the game for any move. If you are a skilled player like the 10 subjects in this study, you also recognize specific patterns that signify when you have an advantage over your opponent. Finally you have to analyze the consequences of your potential moves and the countermoves of your opponent."

A brain imaging technique called positron emission tomography (PET) allowed Grafman and his coworkers to separate these steps and identify the parts of the brain used during each stage. A PET brain scan records the increased use of a radioactive tracer when a part of the brain is activated for a particular task.

For chess players, color separation and spatial discrimination activate parts on both sides of the brain toward the back of the head known to be associated with visual processing. Rule retrieval activates two parts on the left side of the brain, a small structure deep within the brain associated with indexing memories and a structure in an area near the left ear associated with memory storage. Checkmate judgment activates areas on both sides near the front of the brain crucial for planning and in the back of the brain important for generating images.

Grafman said experiments like the chess problem are helping improve our understanding of how humans make judgments. According to Grafman, the areas in the front of the brain activated in the checkmate judgment stage may be "managerial knowledge units." These units are similar to other types of storage in the brain but coordinate a large amount of information in a specific sequence. Grafman said the findings in this study will ultimately be useful in helping people recovering from brain injuries or diseases that affect problem solving and judgment.

The NINDS is the nation's principal supporter of research on the brain and nervous system and a lead agency for the Congressionally mandated Decade of the Brain. The Institute supports and conducts a broad program of basic and clinical neurological investigations. The NINDS is part of the National Institutes of Health, located in Bethesda, MD.

*Nichelli, P., Grafman, J., Pietrini, P., Alway, D., Carton, J. C., Miletich, R. 1994. Brain activity during chess playing. Nature, vol. 369, no. 6477, p. 191.

Date Last Modified: Friday, August 07, 2009

Chess Playing Helps Reveal How Brain Works

Practice Wonderment

2010-11-24T08:51:00.003-05:00

Thanksgiving is tomorrow! It is fitting to read an article that would bring our gratitude in us. :-)

Practice Wonderment
by M. J. Ryan, from Attitudes of Gratitude

Oh, for the wonder that bubbles
into my soul.
– D. H. Lawrence

Recently I had the pleasure of accompanying my friend and her one-year-old daughter to the zoo for the first time. Her eyes almost popped out of her head when she saw an elephant. And when I gave her her first scoop of ice cream, her joy knew no bounds. Her little body wriggled, her eyes sparkled, and she brought out the biggest smile. The truth is elephants are amazing creatures, and ice cream is just as delicious the one-thousandth time as the first. But we adults have lost our wonderment, and so we can't appreciate elephants and ice cream as much.

In wonderment, children are our greatest teachers. Wonder is a natural state, one that we often lose track of as we become numb to life. Since wonderment is the willingness to be surprised by life, and gratitude springs from wonderment, to practice gratefulness we need to let life surprise us, with a glorious sunset, a luxurious back rub, a mysterious phone call, or the kindness of a stranger. The problem with adulthood is that we become jaded. Oh yes, another great sunset, another fabulous dinner, another birthday present.

We can recapture our sense of wonderment at any moment. All it takes is to open our senses and let the world come into us anew. Try it for one minute. First listen to the sounds around you...perhaps an airplane is overhead. Isn't it amazing that airplanes can fly? It doesn't seem possible. What kinds of scents are in the air? I can smell Jasmine. Isn't it amazing that so many flowers have such distinctive scents?

Now turn to your sense of sight. Really notice what's around you...the grain in the oak door, the black letters against the white page, the bright yellow bananas in the bowl. Isn't it amazing that you can see? Isn't it fascinating to wonder if everyone can see yellow the same way as you? Isn't it marvelous that you can have a banana even though they grow thousands of miles away?

We can touch wonder in every moment as we slow down and perceive the world around us as if for the first time. And when we contact wonder, we know thankfulness for the most ordinary, extraordinary things of life.

qi jing shen (life force)

2010-11-13T19:49:00.003-05:00

I have been interested in knowing exactly what Jing, Qi, Shen meant ever since I was little. In the common people's language, it means the same thing usually. But, this ancient concepts of life force requires some understanding of it. Perhaps, there would be some merits in the ancient Chinese medicine.

Here is the one good article about kidney that is supposedly storing Jing.

Does it take 21 days to change or develop a habit?

2010-10-18T01:19:00.003-04:00

I've been interested in this subject for quite some time now. I heard about this magic 21 number before. So, I did a quick search and found this out online. I'll put this as a reminder for myself.

Here is a related post from zenhabits

"In order to ensure behavior change, experts agree that it takes a minimum of 21 days to change a behavior. Again, look at the date you are planning on changing your habit. Count ahead 21 days and mark that date down. Now, make a commitment that you will follow your plan for 21 days.

Helpful Suggestions

Your target date has arrived. It is the first day of your 21-day cycle. Here are some helpful suggestions for habit change:

Write down your goal. There is magic in the written word when it applies to you. Experts recommend stating your goal in positive terms, such as "I want to be lean and physically fit," instead of "I've got to get this flabby body out there huffing and puffing." So, begin with writing down, as a positive goal, the habit you will change.

List your reasons for changing or eliminating your habit. Writing it down will force you to think out in specific terms what this habit represents in your life and the meaning you believe your life will hold for you upon changing the habit. This will also help with your commitment toward taking positive action.

Find substitute routines. For example, if you are changing eating habits and you have identified a particularly difficult time of the day when eating habits are poor, create an activity, a new routine for that time.

Talk to yourself. Tell yourself you're making progress. Remind yourself that you are moving closer to your goal.. Talk to yourself throughout the day about how you are going to avoid triggers that can get you off track and make healthy substitutes.

Recruit helpers for support. Explain to them why you are making this change. Ask for their support. Their support may be needed encouragement.

Be prepared for people who may sabotage your change. Be assertive and tell them what they are doing.
Sustaining Motivation

The following are some suggestions to follow each day in order to sustain motivation and determination:

Review your list of reasons for quitting or changing.

Create mental pictures of yourself as having already succeeded with your habit change.

Make affirmations, positive self-statements about your habit change. For example, "I am filled with so much health and vitality now that I exercise four times a week."

Reward yourself. Make up a list of self-rewards. Reward yourself verbally.

Remember to take one day at a time. If you do backslide, don't label yourself as having failed. Get out your list or reasons for quitting or changing and begin again.
Fatigue, boredom, depression, stress can all make it difficult to stick with your program. But having a relapse isn't as important as how you deal with the relapse. If you are so devastated by failure that you call your good intentions into question, that will make habit change harder for you. But, if you allow for an occasional relapse and treat it as nothing more than a slight misstep that teaches you something, then you're on the right track.

Follow the suggestions in this article, adopt the more helpful attitude of evaluating your progress and accepting relapses, and you will find yourself reaching many of your goals. You will have achieved true behavior change."

Here is a work sheet that I found, too.

Nasrudin

2010-10-06T04:55:00.003-04:00

Nasreddin lived in Anatolia, Turkey; he was born in Hortu Village in Sivrihisar, Eskişehir in the 13th century, then settled in Akşehir, and later in Konya, where he died (probably born in 1209 CE and died 1275/6 or 1285/6 CE).

Remember that Konya also has another great teacher, Rumi, that passed away there.

I am very delighted to find out that Nasurdin's work is in wikibook. So here is the content of it.

Love Needs Wisdom

2010-06-20T23:18:00.003-04:00

"Love Needs Wisdom" by John Love

Nick and Nicolle, I stand before you today not to teach you about the importance of love. It has been clear to me from the beginning that the two of you love each other very much and understand the crucial role that love plays – not only in your relationship to one another, but in your relationship to the world. My message today is this: love is not enough. Love is not enough to keep two people together and it is not enough to create peace on this troubled planet of ours. What love needs is wisdom.

You see, love will flower of its own accord. You don't need to force it, or practice it. You simply need to allow it. You do this by tending the garden in which that flower of love grows. Yes, you need to be a gardener, but more than that, you need to be a skillful gardener, a master gardener. Master gardeners understand that the flower they wish to see do well cannot be tended to on its own. That flower is connected to everything else in the garden – to the other plants, the bugs, the worms, the soil. The master gardener understands that everything in that garden needs to be treated with tenderness and care. Only then will all be happy and everything be in balance.

So too must you treat your garden of emotions with tenderness and care. Tend to your anger, your frustrations, your resentments. Don't push them away. Hold them close, because they need your acceptance. They need your nurturing.

Understanding this is wisdom. And wisdom is crucial in relationships and in life. But wisdom is useless unless it is acted upon. It is not enough to see and understand a situation. You must put that understanding into action. This is where skillfulness comes in. Skillfulness is the action – or, depending on the circumstances, the inaction – that comes from wisdom.

Wisdom is seeing that the advice you're thinking to give would not be helpful to the disagreement you're having. Skillfulness is recognizing this before you open your mouth with that advice.

Wisdom is recognizing that your partner is feeling angry. Skillfulness is giving them empathy.

Wisdom is seeing that the root cause of an argument is not really about who cleans the stove, but about something deeper and more profound. Skillfulness is navigating the tricky terrain to find that root cause.

Love can be blissfully blinding, as when two people who are exact opposites are drawn together. Love can also be passionate – leading one to ecstasy, or to the other end: madness.

Where love may tell you to forget about an incident and move on. Wisdom may tell you that it needs to be talked through or else it will simply come back at a different time in a different form.

Where love may yell and scream when your partner gets home an hour later than they said they would. Wisdom reminds you that when the same thing happened last week, you were glad your partner was late, because you were busy talking on the phone with a friend. You see it's not the outer circumstances or your partner that determine your reaction. It's all that stuff inside you – all that messy, wonderful, chaotic stuff within you.

There's a story of two Buddhist monks who have been practicing at a monastery for many years. A young layperson is visiting the monastery and asks for some advice from the monks. The young man goes on to speak about all the anger, jealousy, and lust within him and asks what he should do about it. The two monks listen attentively, but offer no advice. Instead they tell the young man how jealous they are of him – that he is so fortunate to have such rich, beautiful compost within himself to work with. The monks understand that this is where the most beautiful flowers come from.

Our society is littered with discarded relationships where there was real love, but wisdom and skillfulness were neglected. To keep your relationship strong, to ensure that the flower of love is blossoming, I urge you to cultivate these attributes. Skillfulness can be practiced, and wisdom can be learned. As Doug Larson once said, "Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk."

Know that wisdom may sometimes be quiet. Don't think that wisdom has no message for you in such instances, because there is often more truth in silence, than in words. And know, too, that just as you have inherent Buddha-nature, so too do you have inherent wisdom. Learn to trust and honor this wisdom.

While it is love that brings us together, it is wisdom and skillfulness that keep us together to enjoy that love. And when this happens, we will naturally be happy. And when we share that happiness with others, we make the whole world just a little bit happier. As the Buddha said some 2,500 years ago: "Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of that candle will not be shortened. In the same way, happiness never decreases by being shared."

Prayer for a Thousand Years

2010-05-19T10:05:00.003-04:00

by Jack Kornfield

My simple prayer is that in all things I learn to love well.
That I learn to touch the ever-changing seasons of life with
a great heart of compassion.
That I live with the peace and justice I wish for the earth.
That I learn to care fully and let go gracefully.
That through my own life, through joy and sorrow, in thought,
word, and deed, I bring benefit and blessings to all that lives.
That my heart and the hearts of all beings learn to be free.

man is a rope stretched between the animal and the superman

2010-04-26T10:48:00.004-04:00

-- Friedrich Nietzsche

"Man is a rope stretched between the animal and the superman- a rope over an abyss.

A dangerous crossing, a dangerous wayfaring, a dangerous looking-back, a dangerous trembling and halting.

What is great in man is that he is a bridge and not a goal: what is lovable in man is that he is an over-going and a down-going.

I love those that know not how to live except as down-goers, for they are the over-goers.

I love the great despisers, because they are the great adorers, and arrows of longing for the other shore.

I love those who do not first seek a reason beyond the stars for going down and being sacrifices, but sacrifice themselves to the earth, that the earth may become the Superman's.

I love him who lives in order to know, and seeks to know in order that the Superman may hereafter live. Thus he seeks his own down-going.

I love him who labors and invents, that he may build the house for the Superman, and prepare for him earth, animal, and plant: for thus he seeks his own down-going.

I love him who loves his virtue: for virtue is the will to down-going, and an arrow of longing.

I love him who reserves no share of spirit for himself, but wants to be wholly the spirit of his virtue:" thus he walks as spirit over the bridge.

I love him who makes his virtue his inclination and destiny: thus, for the sake of his virtue, hie is wiling to live on, or live on more.

I love him who desires not too many virtues. One virtue is more of a virtue than two, because it is more of a knot for one's destiny to cling to.

I love him whose soul is lavish, who wants no thanks and does not give back: for he always gives, and desires not to keep for himself.

I love him who is ashamed when the dice fall in his favor, and who then asks: "Am I a cheat?" - for he wants to perish.

I love him who scatters golden words in advance of his deeds, and always does more than he promises: for he seeks his own down-going.

I love him who justifies the future ones, and redeems the past ones: for heaa is willing to perish through the present ones.

I love him who chastens his God, because he loves his God: for he must perish through the wrath of his God.

I love him whose soul is deep even in the wounding, and may perish through a small matter: thus he goes willingly over the bridge.

I love him whose soul is so overfull that he forgets himself, and all things are in him: thus all things become his down-going.

I love him who is of a free spirit and a free heart: thus is his head only the bowels of his heart; his heart, however, causes his down-going.

I love all who are like heavy drops falling one by one out of the dark cloud that lowers over man: they herald the coming of the lightning , and perish as heralds.

Lo, I am a herald of the lightning, and a heavy drop out of the cloud: the lightning, however, is Superman!"

Love after Love

2010-04-13T17:16:00.001-04:00

By "Derek Walcott"

The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Contemplation on No-Coming, No-Going

2009-10-20T15:10:00.001-04:00

I am deeply touched by this short verse that I found in Thay's Chanting from the Heart: Buddhist Ceremonies and Daily Practices.

"Contemplation on No-Coming, No-Going"

The body is not me.
I am not limited by this body.
I am life without boundaries.
I have never been born,
and I have never died.

Look at the ocean and the sky filled with stars,
manifestations from my wondrous True Mind.

Since before time, I have been free.
Birth and death are only doors through which we pass,
scared thresholds on our journey.
Birth and death are a game of hide-and-seek.

So laugh with me,
hold my hand,
let us say good-bye,
say good-bye, to meet again soon.

We meet today.
We will meet again tomorrow.
We will meet at the source every moment.
We meet each other in all forms of life.

Dalai Lama in Taiwan

2009-09-25T14:01:00.006-04:00

I am delighted to find out that public speech given by Dalai Lama during his holiness' visit in Taiwan.

The subject is "One World, One Community".

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11

What an honor to has his visit!

14 Mindfulness Trainings

2009-09-10T13:54:00.002-04:00

I am deeply inspired by TNH's teaching. Above all, his ability to interpret Buddhism wisdom to simple plain text is a great gift to this world. I copied this from the Plum Village website for ease of access.

14 Mindfulness Trainings

Sit still and breathe :)

1. Openness

Aware of the suffering created by fanaticism and intolerance, I am determined not to be idolatrous about or bound to any doctrine, theory or ideology, even Buddhist ones. Buddhist teachings are guiding means to help me learn to look deeply and to develop my understanding and compassion. They are not doctrines to fight, kill or die for.

2. Non-attachment to Views

Aware of suffering created by attachment to views and wrong perceptions, I am determined to avoid being narrow-minded and bound to present views. I will learn and practise non-attachment from views in order to be open to others’ insights and experiences. I am aware that the knowledge I presently possess is not changeless, absolute truth. Truth is found in life and I will observe life within and around me in every moment, ready to learn throughout my life.

3. Freedom of Thought

Aware of the suffering brought about when I impose my views on others, I am committed not to force others, even my children, by any means whatsoever – such as authority, threat, money, propaganda or indoctrination – to adopt my views. I will respect the right of others to be different and to choose what to believe and how to decide. I will, however, help others renounce fanaticism and narrowness through compassionate dialogue.

4. Awareness of Suffering

Aware that looking deeply at the nature of suffering can help me develop compassion and find ways out of suffering, I am determined not to avoid or close my eyes before suffering. I am committed to finding ways, including personal contact, images and sounds, to be with those who suffer, so I can understand their situation deeply and help them transform their suffering into compassion, peace and joy.

5. Simple, Healthy Living

Aware that true happiness is rooted in peace, solidity, freedom and compassion, and not in wealth or fame, I am determined not to take as the aim of my life fame, profit, wealth or sensual pleasure, nor to accumulate wealth while millions are hungry and dying. I am committed to living simply and sharing my time, energy and material resources with those in real need. I will practise mindful consuming, not using alcohol, drugs or any other products that bring toxins into my own and the collective body and consciousness.

6. Dealing with Anger

Aware that anger blocks communication and creates suffering, I am determined to take care of the energy of anger when it arises and to recognise and transform the seeds of anger that lie deep in my consciousness. When anger comes up, I am determined not to do or say anything, but to practise mindful breathing or mindful walking and acknowledge, embrace and look deeply into my anger. I will learn to look with the eyes of compassion on those I think are the cause of my anger.

7. Dwelling Happily in the Present Moment

Aware that life is available only in the present moment and that it is possible to live happily in the here and now, I am committed to training myself to live deeply each moment of daily life. I will try not to lose myself in dispersion or be carried away by regrets about the past, worries about the future, or craving, anger or jealousy in the present. I will practise mindful breathing to come back to what is happening in the present moment. I am determined to learn the art of mindful living by touching the wondrous, refreshing and healing elements that are inside and around me, and by nourishing seeds of joy, peace, love and understanding in myself, thus facilitating the work of transformation and healing in my consciousness.

8. Community and Communication

Aware that lack of communication always brings separation and suffering, I am committed to training myself in the practice of compassionate listening and loving speech. I will learn to listen deeply without judging or reacting and refrain from uttering words that can create discord or cause the community to break. I will make every effort to keep communications open and to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small.

9. Truthful and Loving Speech

Aware that words can create suffering or happiness, I am committed to learning to speak truthfully and constructively, using only words that inspire hope and confidence. I am determined not to say untruthful things for the sake of personal interest or to impress people, nor to utter words that might cause division or hatred. I will not spread news that I do not know to be certain nor criticise or condemn things of which I am not sure. I will do my best to speak out about situations of injustice, even when doing so may threaten my safety.

10. Protecting the Sangha

Aware that the essence and aim of a Sangha is the practise of understanding and compassion, I am determined not to use the Buddhist community for personal gain or profit or transform our community into a political instrument. A spiritual community should, however, take a clear stand against oppression and injustice and should strive to change the situation without engaging in partisan conflicts.

11. Right Livelihood

Aware that great violence and injustice have been done to the environment and society, I am committed not to live with a vocation that is harmful to humans and nature. I will do my best to select a livelihood that helps realize my ideal of understanding and compassion. Aware of global economic, political and social realities, I will behave responsibly as a consumer and as a citizen, not investing in companies that deprive others of their chance to live.

12. Reverence for Life

Aware that much suffering is caused by war and conflict, I am determined to cultivate non-violence, understanding and compassion in my daily life, to promote peace education, mindful mediation and reconciliation, within families, communities, nations and in the world. I am determined not to kill and not to let others kill. I will diligently practice deep looking with my Sangha to discover better ways to protect life and prevent war.

13. Generosity

Aware of the suffering caused by exploitation, social injustice, stealing and oppression, I am committed to cultivating loving kindness and learning ways to work for the well-being of people, animals, plants and minerals. I will practice generosity by sharing my time, energy and material resources with those who are in need. I am determined not to steal and not to possess anything that should belong to others. I will respect the property of others, but will try to prevent others from profiting from human suffering or the suffering of other beings.

14. Right Conduct

(For lay members): Aware that sexual relations motivated by craving cannot dissipate the feeling of loneliness but will create more suffering, frustration, and isolation, we are determined not to engage in sexual relations without mutual understanding, love, and a long-term commitment. In sexual relations, we must be aware of future suffering that may be caused. We know that to preserve the happiness of ourselves and others, we must respect the rights and commitments of ourselves and others. We will do everything in our power to protect children from sexual abuse and to protect couples and families from being broken by sexual misconduct. We will treat our bodies with respect and preserve our vital energies (sexual, breath, spirit) for the realization of our bodhisattva ideal. We will be fully aware of the responsibility of bringing new lives into the world, and will meditate on the world into which we are bringing new beings.

(For monastic members): Aware that the aspiration of a monk or a nun can only be realized when he or she wholly leaves behind the bonds of worldly love, we are committed to practicing chastity and to helping others protect themselves. We are aware that loneliness and suffering cannot be alleviated by the coming together of two bodies in a sexual relationship, but by the practice of true understanding and compassion. We know that a sexual relationship will destroy our life as a monk or a nun, will prevent us from realizing our ideal of serving living beings, and will harm others. We are determined not to suppress or mistreat our body or to look upon our body as only an instrument, but to learn to handle our body with respect. We are determined to preserve vital energies (sexual, breath, spirit) for the realization of our bodhisattva ideal.

Nasreddin

2009-06-14T22:17:00.002-04:00

Last night I learned of this character from Islamic culture. Here it is...

His stories remind me of Koan in Zen Buddhism tradition.

So far, I learned of the following important Koan collections:'

* Blue Cliff Records (碧巖錄)
* Gateless gate (無門關)
* The Book of Equanimity (從容録)

Where it is such a case, it remains to be examined. :-)

My favorite Obama speeches

2009-01-28T22:30:00.006-05:00

I am thrilled to have such an inspirational person as the world leader. Here are some of my favorite speeches so far. It could be a nice template for me to improve my English skills? LOL

* Victory Speech
* Speech on Race
* Inauguration Speech
* Obama's Health Reform Speech

Super food

2009-01-11T10:49:00.002-05:00

Perhaps some food is more equal than the other... Here is a list of food that some health expert recommends.

14 super foods

1. Beans: A great low-fat, low-calorie source of protein and an easy way to help control your weight and your blood sugar.

2. Blueberries: The best food on the planet to preserve a young brain as we mature.

3. Broccoli: The best food on the planet to prevent cancer.

4. Oats: A sure-fire way to lower your cholesterol.

5. Oranges: The most readily available source of vitamin C, which in turn lowers the rate of most causes of death in this country, for example, heart disease and cancer.

6. Pumpkin: Loaded with phytonutrients, which keep our skin young and help prevent damage from sunlight.

7. Wild salmon: A guaranteed way to lower your risk for cardiac-related death.

8. Soy: The only complete vegetarian source of protein.

9. Spinach: The best food on the planet to prevent cataracts and age-related macular degeneration, thus ensuring a lifetime of good vision.

10. Tea -- green or black: The easiest and cheapest no-calorie way to avoid heart disease and cancer.

11. Tomatoes: One of the easiest ways for men to avoid prostate cancer is the consumption of tomatoes and tomato-based products.

12. Skinless turkey breast: The leanest meat source of protein on the planet.

13. Walnuts: Consuming walnuts is an easy, tasty way to lower your risk of cardiovascular disease.

14. Yogurt: A tasty, easy way to boost your
immune system.

Across the Universe

2009-01-09T11:39:00.002-05:00

Last night during a small meditation gathering, the lyric of the song was mentioned. The beautiful melody by Lennon keeps repeating in my head. I have no choice but put it down here.

It seems that Lennon lets his sorrow pour out like pouring rain, restless wind... then he hears a calling from the ultimate source of love..

"Sounds of laughter shades of live are ringing through my open ears
Inciting and inviting me
Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns
It calls me on and on, across the universe"

Across the Universe

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup
They slither wildly as they slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my open mind
Possessing and caressing me
Jai Guru Deva OM

Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes
They call me on and on across the universe
Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box
They tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe
Jai Guru Deva OM

Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

Sounds of laughter shades of live are ringing through my open ears
Inciting and inviting me
Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns
It calls me on and on, across the universe
Jai Guru Deva OM

Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

Jai Guru Deva
Jai Guru Deva
Jai Guru Deva
Jai Guru Deva
Jai Guru Deva (fade out)

Making soup with blender

2008-11-09T16:46:00.002-05:00

Today I went to the Green Festivals. It was very similar to that of the last year. I did notice quite a few pedal power generators using bikes. One could build your own. It uses the gel cell battery to store the power.

Also, I saw a woman making soup using blender. She put in a blender raw garlic, onion, carrot, bullion, and whatever other raw vegetables within her reach. Then, she added some hot water and started to blend it. I am not sure if it is tasty but it surely looks healthy and easy to make soup.

Archetypes - Saver

2008-11-04T13:59:00.003-05:00

I've been in the process of questioning my relationship with $$ lately. I wonder what is it about $$ that gave me some irrational behaviors that caused me some misery at this moment. It would be a long term process to sort this through. It will involve deep understanding of myself, breaking the old habit, and forming the new habit. It will take some time. But at this for now, it is the first step.

From this page.

Archetypes - Guardian

The Guardian is always alert and careful. When your worry gets the best of you, your anxiety might be intolerable or you might feel there’s an impending catastrophe. But when your Guardian is expressed positively, you’re alert, careful, and prudent. Why not pursue a calming activity that you love sometime today, perhaps listening to music, being in nature, getting some exercise, or having fun with a friend or loved one?

You’re probably a Guardian if:
• Your financial decision-making style falls into one of two extreme camps: (1) you feel frozen, unable to make financial decisions even when you think they’re best for you, or (2) you make financial decisions only after excessive analysis.
• You are focused on financial doomsday scenarios, whether for the world or yourself, hence you analyze what-if scenarios much more than most people do.
• You abide by certain fear-driven rules like never having debt or only living off your interest and other income in retirement— never your investment principal.
• Your emotional responses and level of worry are out of proportion to your actual financial circumstances. For example, you might obsessively worry about having enough to pay your bills even though you’ve never actually had the experience of not having enough money to pay them.
• The fear of making the wrong financial decision is more painful than the hope of making a good decision is satisfying.

Painful Emotional States
Anxious
Fearful
Worried

Common Distorted Thoughts (Conditioned Beliefs from the Past)
If I’m not hypervigilant, it’s all going to fall apart.
My worry helps me hold it together.
There is an impending catastrophe.

Liberating Wisdom or Ways to Focus
Today I am going to pursue a calming activity that I love (for example, music, taking a nap, playing tennis or golf, watching a movie, being in nature, reading a book, doing a spiritual practice).
I am most moved to be of service to others by .
I most want to spend time with in the next hour.
Making concrete changes that will simplify my life and financial needs is a high priority.

Archetype(s) You Most Need to Emphasize to Create Balance
Pleasure Seeker: enjoyment and relaxation
Empire Builder: innovation and decisiveness
Innocent: simplicity and adaptability

A Practice

NEVER EVER MAKE FINANCIAL DECISIONS IN THE MIDST OF INTENSE EMOTIONS. The Guardian almost always feels a sense of urgency: “If I don’t decide now, I never will, and...” Write down the decisions you need to make on a three-by-five card, in a journal, or in a handheld computer or phone, and put them off until you’re feeling more centered. Then you can sit quietly and make the necessary decisions, whether by using a pros and cons list or an advisor who can help you find the objectivity you need.

Below is from this page

Archetypes - Saver

The Saver seeks security and abundance by accumulating more financial assets. At worst, you can be fearful, frugal, hoarding or even obsessive when it comes to money, but your gifts are that you’re almost always financially self-sufficient or perhaps in a state of abundance. Today, try making relaxation and enjoyment of your life the highest priority.

You’re probably a Saver if:
• You save more than 20 percent of your earned income each year.
• You spend and give away less than 3 percent of your total financial net worth each year.
• Your net worth grows more than 5 percent from year to year (as you’ll see, this metric can also be indicative of an Empire Builder).

Painful Emotional States
Obsessive
Tense
Hyperanalytical
Futuristic

Common Distorted Thoughts (Conditioned Beliefs from the Past)
If I save enough, I’ll be happy, safe, secure.
I’m worried that I won’t have enough.
I have to keep a close watch on my nest egg.
What am I worth now? How much has that grown/shrunk?

Liberating Wisdom or Ways to Focus
Relaxing and enjoying my life is a high priority in this next hour.
I will find a way to connect to the world through a relationship or one of my passions right now.
My fulfillment is my highest priority today.
Relaxing is a much more important part of my life than I realize.

Archetype(s) You Most Need to Emphasize to Create Balance
Pleasure Seeker: enjoyment, pleasure
Idealist: passion, vision, creativity
Caretaker: relationships, compassion, generosity,courage

A Practice

AUTOMATICALLY SET ASIDE SOME MONEY FOR SPENDING AND GENEROSITY.
Would you be more fulfilled over the long haul if you used less of your money for future accumulation and more for spending on pleasurable purchases, like buying yourself time to do more of the things you love in life? How would it feel to give more generously, whether to charities, neighbors, friends, or family members in need? Set aside some amount of money—$1 a day or $100 a month, whatever feels right to you given your financial and emotional situation—and spend half of it on material objects or experiences that bring you pleasure and fulfillment right now, in this moment (remember, the Saver loves to delay gratification). With the other half, be generous, whatever that means to you. Expect that you’re going to have some conflicts; you’re going to feel nervous
as you spend on yourself or practice generosity. But allow yourself to be nervous, and do it anyway without overthinking. Set this up automatically
so you have less of an emotional battle each month as you work to change your savings habit. For example, have your bank or employer automatically transfer your chosen dollar amount into a separate “play” account each month, or do it one time and don’t allow yourself to use that account for anything other than generosity or spending that brings you immediate pleasure. Does it feel uncomfortable as you try on these ground-breaking behaviors? Do it anyway!

Flow

2008-10-31T15:05:00.002-04:00

I own a copy of Flow written by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. It was one of my favorite books. I came across this quote on the office door of my colleague. It is really insightful.

"The tremendous leisure industry that has arisen in the last few generations has been designed to help fill free time with enjoyable experiences. Nevertheless, instead of using our physical and mental resources to experience flow, most of us spend many hours each weak watching celebrated athletes playing in enormous Stadiums.

Instead of making music, we listen to platinum records cut by millionaire musicians. Instead of making art, we go to admire paintings that brought in the highest bids at the latest auction. We do not run risks acting on our beliefs, but occupy hours each day watching actors who pretend to have adventures, engaged in mock-meaningful action. This vicarious participation is able to mask, at least temporarily, the underlying emptiness of wasted time. But it is a very pale substitute for attention invested in real challenges."

What does it say about the human nature?

Here is the source of quote I found on the web.

The Secret

2008-10-26T22:07:00.003-04:00

Last night over the usual late night phone conversation with Brother in law, he told me about Esther Hicks' book. I remember watching the movie about the law of attraction and found it very much like pop psychology. I am surprised by how much he mentioned the book and concept. I found out this entry of description at wikipedia. It is a food for thoughts. I like the bullet list and each with precise meaning. Here it is..

The essence of Abraham-Hicks' teachings since 1986 has been presented as follows:

* You are a Physical Extension of that which is Non-physical.

* You are here in this body because you chose to be here.

* The basis of your life is Freedom; the purpose of your life is Joy.

* You are a creator; you create with your every thought.

* Anything that you can imagine is yours to be or do or have.

* You are choosing your creations as you are choosing your thoughts.

* The Universe adores you; for it knows your broadest intentions.

* Relax into your natural well-being. All is well.

* You are a creator of thoughtways on your unique path of joy.

* Actions to be taken and money to be exchanged are by-products of your focus on joy.

* You may appropriately depart your body without illness or pain.

* You can not die; you are Everlasting Life.

They are very generous in putting their recording online.

David Blaine

2008-09-25T13:47:00.005-04:00

Today I spent some time reading about David Blaine's stunts and magic tricks. It really impresses much more deeply me after I read more about him and what he did. It inspires me to challenge myself more both physically and mentally.

I especially like what he said after he came out of buried alive. He said "I saw something very prophetic ... a vision of every race, every religion, every age group banding together, and that made all this worthwhile," Here is the source.

Does it mean that a human is bound to experience the euphoria of humanity (or the beauty of mankind) in a state of long meditation (or in a state of long term silence)? I won't be surprised to find that David is an advanced mediator. This is just my conjecture. I hope that it can be verified by him.

I think that one could gain a lot of insights and grow wisdom in the presence of a long term silence, quietness, or solitude with the focus on spiritual growth.

Fantasy

2008-06-18T15:10:00.003-04:00

I have noticed that certain amount of time was spent in fantasy during the work hour in the mist of tedious task. Here is a description of it from answers.com

A fantasy is a product of the imagination in the form of a script in the theatrical or cinematic sense and deployed in support of a wish-fulfillment. It may be a conscious creation, a daydream created by the subject to procure an imaginary satisfaction that is erotic, aggressive, self-flattering, or self-aggrandizing in nature. This wish-fulfilling function likens the daydream, or reverie, to night dreams, but it may also be compared to symptoms or behavior with similar aims. It must therefore be supposed that all these manifestations have a common origin, namely unconscious fantasy.

The term Phantasie was part of everyday language, where it signified "fancy," "imagination." It appeared very early in Freud's writings, notably in the Studies on Hysteria (1895d), where he noted the frequency of daydreams among hysterics. However, the word soon took on a more precise meaning and the concept was expanded centrally in the burgeoning science of psychoanalysis. In a letter dated May 2, 1897, to Wilhelm Fliess, Freud wrote, "I have gained a sure inkling of the structure of hysteria. Everything goes back to the reproduction of scenes. Some can be obtained directly, others always by way of fantasies set up in front of them. The fantasies stem from things that have been heard but understood subsequently, and all their material is of course genuine." (p. 239). Later, in Draft M (May 25, 1897), we find this: "Fantasies arise from an unconscious combination of things experienced and heard, according to certain tendencies. These tendencies are toward making inaccessible the memory from which symptoms have emerged or might emerge. . . . As a result of the construction of fantasies like this (in periods of excitation), the mnemic symptoms cease" (1985a [1887-1904], p. 247).

Already, then, at this early moment, Freud posited unconscious fantasy as the source of the symptom, of the dream (soon to be elaborated on in The Interpretation of Dreams,1900a), of daydreams, parapraxes, and so on. But the claim that "all [this] material is of course genuine" was significantly revised. On September 21, 1897, he famously announced to Fliess, "I no longer believe in my neurotica" (p. 264)—that is, in an etiology for hysteria attributable in all cases to a trauma actually experienced during childhood. This is not to say that Freud now abandoned his seduction theory. But in the wake of a sudden disillusionment, he entered a long period leading to his recognition that the traumatic event was never recorded exactly per se, and never endured in unmodified form but, quite to the contrary, was subject to incessant reworking after the fact. From that moment, indeed, Freud was convinced that "there are no 'indications of reality' in the unconscious, so that one cannot distinguish between truth and fiction that has been cathected with affect" (p. 264); or in other words between historical (or event-defined) reality and fantasy. It was possible, then, that in some cases the hysterical symptom was the product of "pure fantasy"; seduction nevertheless existed, especially in view of the fact that a child might read this connotation into "innocent" events.

The birth of the psychoanalytical concept of fantasy may thus be dated 1897; in Freud's self-analysis, its advent coincides with that of the Oedipus complex. As Freud wrote to Fliess on October 15, 1897, "I have found, in my own case too, [the phenomenon of] being in love with my mother and jealous of my father, and I now consider it a universal event in early childhood" (p. 272). This twin birth was acknowledged by Freud a quarter of a century later in An Autobiographical Study (1925d): "When, however, I was at last obliged to recognize that these scenes of seduction had never taken place, and that they were only phantasies which my patients had made up or which I myself had perhaps forced upon them, I was for some time completely at a loss. ...When I had pulled myself together, I was able to draw the right conclusions from my discovery: namely, that the neurotic symptoms were not related directly to actual events but to wishful phantasies, and that as far as the neurosis was concerned psychical reality was of more importance than material reality....I had in fact stumbled for the first time upon the Oedipus complex" (p. 34).

There are references to fantasy throughout Freud's work, especially prior to the major theoretical revision of the 1920s. In his paper on "Screen Memories" (1899a), he revealed the role of adolescent fantasies in the work of reconstructing childhood memories. The Interpretation of Dreams (1900a), based on the idea of the dream as a wish-fulfillment, was itself a study of nighttime expressions of fantasy, while Delusions and Dreams in Jensen's "Gradiva" (1907a) and "Creative Writers and Day-Dreaming" (1908e) were centered on the eruptions of fantasy during waking life. "Hysterical Phantasies and their Relation to Bisexuality" (1908a) was a reconsideration, ten years after its initial formulation, of the theory of symptom production through fantasy. In spite of its title, "On the Sexual Theories of Children" (1908c) also examined the role of fantasy: certain "theories" were constructed by the child to explain the mysteries of sexuality, conception, and birth, but they were in effect also imaginary productions similar to reveries. In the "Wolf Man" case history (1918b [1914]), Freud, returning at length to the problem of the relationship between event-defined "historical reality" and fantasy creation, ended by re-embracing the notion of "phylogenetically" transmitted primal fantasies, previously discussed in Totem and Taboo (1912-1913a). Of special importance too is the essay "'A Child is Being Beaten"' (1919e), where Freud analyzed the genesis and structure of a particular fantasy in which erotic pleasure was tied to the evocation of punishment experienced by a (different) child.

The notion of fantasy nevertheless remained rather vague in Freud's work. It presented a number of problems for him, especially that of the relationship between fantasy and representation. More generally, there was the question of the role played by fantasy in mentation. For Freud, the instinct was the living source of all mental activity, as he clearly asserted in The Interpretation of Dreams. The dream was a wish-fulfillment, but the dual action of primary processes and secondary revision could bring about transpositions and distortions that permitted the latent thoughts of the dream to cross over into the dream's manifest content, to transform from unconscious fantasies into explicit images better able to break through the barrier of the censorship. In Chapter 7 of The Interpretation, Freud extended this model to psychic work as a whole in order to account for the transition from fantasy to mental representation, which were closely akin because of their common origin. The result, paradoxically, was that the difference between them was clearly pointed up: whereas the fantasy was an internal formation, created without reference to reality, mental representations drew their very substance from their relationship with the outside world. In "Formulations on the Two Principles of Mental Functioning" (1911b), Freud reiterated that fantasy served the pleasure principle exclusively, while mental representation, though it might transpose fantasy, answered strictly by the reality principle. Both the close kinship and the basic difference between fantasy and mental representation are easy to discern in Freud's account of hallucinatory wish-fulfillment, where he describes that founding moment when the infant obtains satisfaction by hallucinating the real, but absent, agent of satisfaction, and then, since the need remains, begins to "represent" that absence (the representation of the object arises from its very absence). W. R. Bion was a leader among those authors who have sought to thus develop a theory of mental activity designed to illuminate the relationship between fantasy and representation.

The fact remains that back in 1897 Freud ran into a difficulty that continued to occupy him for the rest of his life and is still a crucial question for psychoanalysis in the twenty-first century: If instinctual forces are indeed the live source of wishes or fantasies, which mediate them, how can the forms of those wishes be explained, and more specifically how is it that typical forms, seemingly derived from a common matrix, occur very widely among people whose history and psychic make-up vary considerably? Freud posed this question repeatedly in his account of the "Wolf Man" (1918b [1914]), where he offered a meticulous, albeit hypothetical reconstruction of events that took place in his patient's life between the ages of eighteen months and four years old in order to explain his subsequent pathology. Yet Freud continued to feel that such an explanation, based on a person's real history, left something to be desired. He consequently appealed to an even earlier "historical reality"—that of the human species as a whole: "It seems to me quite possible that all the things that are told to us today in analysis as phantasy . . . were once real occurrences in the primaeval times of the human family, and that children in their phantasies are simply filling in the gaps in individual truth with prehistoric truth" (1916-1917a, p. 371). This echoed the "fiction" Freud had developed in Totem and Taboo (1912-1913a) according to which, at the time of the "primal horde," the sons killed their father and committed incest with their mother; ever since, the unconscious memory of that primal drama has left its stamp on every human being.

It is not unreasonable to have reservations about this speculation. Nevertheless, clinical psychoanalysis has verified the role of "fantasies" that can be qualified as "primal," however one regards their historicity, in that they are the basis of every individual fantasy. Freud mentioned three varieties: "I call such fantasies—of the observation of sexual intercourse between the parents, of seduction, of castration, and others—'primal fantasies"' (1915f, p. 269). But this enumeration should not be looked upon as definitive; it should no doubt include the fantasy of a return to the mother's breast (for further discussion of primal fantasies, see Laplanche and Pontalis).

Among post-Freudian developments, Melanie Klein's contribution is the most important. Continuing the line of enquiry that Freud opened up in "Instincts and Their Vicissitudes" (1915c) and reorganized after 1920 by introducing the life and death instincts, Klein assigned a leading role to the play of fantasy in the mental life of young children; indeed, she even seemed to make the apprehension of reality subordinate to fantasy in the context of a battle royal between love and hate that aroused massive anxiety. The beginning of mental life was envisaged by Klein as the scene of a tragedy played out by fantasies of invasion, cannibalism, deadly attacks on the breast and by the breast, explosion, laceration, and so forth. This approach was further advanced by some of Klein's followers, notably Donald Meltzer. Significant theoretical support was supplied by Susan Isaacs in her paper "On the Nature and Function of Phantasy" (1948).

A very different approach was taken by Jacques Lacan, who compared fantasy to freezing the frame of a moving picture. In contrast to the Kleinian view, the emphasis here was on the defensive function of fantasies, which sought to "freeze" the evocation of violent scenes, and first and foremost those responsible for castration anxiety. For Lacan, the neurotic fantasy was an attempt, always fruitless, to respond to the enigma of the desire of the other. However varied individual expressions of fantasy themes might be, the aim of analysis was always to circumscribe the typical basic fantasy of each analysand, its place and role in the symbolic structure that determined that analysand's particular mode of gratification (jouissance).

Michèle Perron-Borelli (1997) has taken an entirely different tack, providing a general overview of fantasy in the context of an original theoretical reformulation of the problem. Noting that every fantasy is centered on a representation of action, whether active in nature (e.g., seducing) or passive (being seduced), she defines fantasy in terms of a three-part structure comprised of an agent, an action, and an object of the action. This structure is analogous, for Perron-Borelli, to the basic grammatical subject/verb/object pattern; this is no accident, perhaps, if one accepts that language reflects the development of thought itself, and its origins in fantasy. All fantasy activity, therefore, and indeed all thought, may be conceived of as a system of transformations of this basic structure by a variety of means: changing of places by the subject and the object relative to the action (change from activity to passivity or vice versa), the replacement of the object or the subject, the assumption by the subject of the viewpoint of an outside observer; and so on. In this view, the subject comes into being and develops by virtue of these transformations themselves. At a deeper level, the starting-point is sought in a "primal fantasy matrix" in the autoerotic life of the infant.

Ashtabula

2008-06-12T15:09:00.000-04:00

"You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go"

Lyrics are below:

I've seen love go by my door

It's never been this close before

Never been so easy or so slow.

Been shooting in the dark too long

When somethin's not right it's wrong

Yer gonna make me lonesome when you go.

Dragon clouds so high above

I've only known careless love,

It's always hit me from below.

This time around it's more correct

Right on target, so direct,

Yer gonna make me lonesome when you go.

Purple clover, Queen Anne lace,

Crimson hair across your face,

You could make me cry if you don't know.

Can't remember what I was thinkin' of

You might be spoilin' me too much, love,

Yer gonna make me lonesome when you go.

Flowers on the hillside, bloomin' crazy,

Crickets talkin' back and forth in rhyme,

Blue river runnin' slow and lazy,

I could stay with you forever

And never realize the time.

Situations have ended sad,

Relationships have all been bad.

Mine've been like Verlaine's and Rimbaud.

But there's no way I can compare

All those scenes to this affair,

Yer gonna make me lonesome when you go.

Yer gonna make me wonder what I'm doin',

Stayin' far behind without you.

Yer gonna make me wonder what I'm sayin',

Yer gonna make me give myself a good talkin' to.

I'll look for you in old Honolulu,

San Francisco, Ashtabula,

Yer gonna have to leave me now, I know.

But I'll see you in the sky above,

In the tall grass, in the ones I love,

Yer gonna make me lonesome when you go.

Be brave in the ordinary way...

2008-06-05T22:55:00.003-04:00

A couple of weeks ago, I went to American Portrait museum and saw quite a few paintings and sculptures dedicated to the war scenes and the gallant behavior of the soldiers. Somehow, it dawns on me that it is easy for people to show off bravery when they are put in a war like situation. The soldiers are no braver than the average people. It is only the situation that brings out the gallantry in them.

In my humble opinion, a person that could exhibit bravery without being put in a war like situation is braver than a soldier. The bravest behavior could be the one that comes out of every day ordinary life. True bravery is quality of inner strength, which is cultivated through practice, training, and faith...

It is far more challenging to be brave in the ordinary way, but one must strive for it... Why? It is an experiential knowledge to be lived and it is ineffable.

Just this once

2008-05-15T22:53:00.004-04:00

Coleman Barks has been my favorite poet recently. I have been a fan of Rumi's poetry through his translation work. Even though he claims that he did not work from Persian language directly, his translation captures the spirits of the poet authentically.

It is very evident that the heart matter is a universal thing. The spiritual people can recognize the great value in spirit regardless of cultural difference, language barrier, geographical boundary, and all the other seemingly superficial differences... The spirit transcends the named objects. It manifests as universal love.

He is also a great poet himself, too. I am deeply touched by his anti-Iraq war poem, "Just this once". Here is the link of the poem that he recites himself.

Here are a couple of interviews with him.

* Casual interview
* On Beauty of Language

On going to India without knowing anyone there...

2008-04-27T22:21:00.001-04:00

"By taking a bit chance of the unknown, I learn so much"

Here and Now

2008-03-28T09:38:00.003-04:00

I work in an office building out in the suburb. It is always a hassle to go out for lunch as I have to go into a car and drive to nearby restaurants to eat. One walking option is to take a 10 minute walk to Giant nearby. In light of being green and enjoying the spring weather, it is a wonderful option to walk that 10 minutes.

Yesterday, I took the walk again. Yet, I sensed a hesitating energy in me. I walked impatiently, or the impatient feeling was the result of my wanting to get there fast. I, then, got hold of myself and started to concentrate my breathing. I started to remember "Peace is every step" philosophy. The hesitating energy subsided.

An insight also occurs in me. I started to realize the merit of enjoying every present moment as possible as I could. Above all, I sense the benefit of keeping up the positive energy in me here and now. I could physically and psychologically experience the negative impact on having a negative energy, such as anger, jealousy, and etc, right at this second. Because whenever I am having a negative energy right at this second, the next moment I most likely have to deal with my previous negative emotion. This makes me small. This makes my mind not carefree. This only pollutes the earth in me for the next moment.

"Whenever I am having a negative energy right at this second, the next moment I most likely have to deal with the previous negative energy rather than be free to enjoy the happy and joy energy. This by itself justifies to be fully present at each moment."

On the other hand, even if I know that there are tasks needed to be worked out and required attention in the future, but by focusing the happy joyful moment right here and now. I know that the next moment in me will also be a happy joyful one. I, thus, will possess a free open mind to deal with the next moment's urgent tasks with great joy and efficiency....

Yes, I can only experience happy and joy here and now.

Mahamudra

2008-02-27T11:30:00.003-05:00

While I was in Bodh Gaya, I had a privilege to attend 3 night of Mahamudra lecture given by Gamapa. The teaching took place at Tergar institute. There was a security check on each person before s/he enters the big hall. It was interesting to see such a phenomena that a spiritual teacher has lots of body guards. I thought that the spiritual teachings are beyond politics. We strive to live in a good life in this not-so-perfect world.

Mahamudra is a teaching about the mind in Tibetan tradition.

A Song of Realization: The Fivefold Mahamudra

1.
If the stallion of love and compassion
Does not win the race of altruism,
He will not earn the praise of the crowd of
gods and humans.
So, earnestly focus your mind on this preliminary practice.

2.
If your body, the king of the enlightened form,
Does not hold the throne of the unchanging basis,
Mother dakinis, the citizens, will not appear.
So, earnestly focus on seeing your body as
the yidam deity

3.
If, on the snow moutain, the lama of the four kayas,
The sun of devotion does not shine,
Streams of blessing will not flow,
So, earnestly focus on cultivating this devotion.

4.
If, in the vast sky of the nature of mind,
The clouds of concepts do not disperse,
The stars of the two wisdoms will not brightly shine,
So, earnestly focus on cultivating this non-conceptuality.

5.
If the wish-fulfilling jewel of the two accumulations
Is not polished with the aspiring mind,
The results you need and want will not arise.
So, earnestly focus your mind on this dedication.

- This song of realization called "The Fivefold Mahamudra" was composed by Kyobpa himself.

Banana Bread

2008-02-26T12:16:00.005-05:00

Last night it was a good cause for celebration as I made my first banana bread in my life. It is so delicious... Above all, it is so easy to make. Here is a recipe that I found online. I put it here and will try this one instead of the one from my cooking bible.

Ingredients

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup butter

3/4 cup brown sugar

2 eggs, beaten

2 1/3 cups mashed overripe bananas (about two of them)

1 cup chopped nuts (walnuts preferred)

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C)

Lightly grease a 9x5 inch loaf pan.

In a large bowl, combine flour, baking soda and salt.

In a separate bowl, cream together butter and brown sugar.

Stir in eggs, mashed bananas, and nuts into creamed butter until well blended.

Stir banana mixture into flour mixture; stir just to moisten.

Pour batter into prepared loaf pan.

Bake in preheated oven for 55 to 60 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into center of the loaf comes out clean.

Let bread cool in pan for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack.

Another one

Orange rind and juice delicately flavor this bread. For a quick breakfast, spread toasted slices of this bread with reduced-fat cream cheese and top with thinly sliced strawberries, peaches, or kiwi.

Ingredients

2 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup sugar (could be too much..)
1/4 cup butter, softened
2 large eggs
1 1/2 cups mashed ripe banana (about 3 bananas)
1 1/2 tablespoons grated orange rind
3 tablespoons fresh orange juice
1/3 cup chopped walnuts
Cooking spray

Preparation

Preheat oven to 350º.

Lightly spoon flour into dry measuring cups, and level with a knife. Combine the flour, baking soda, and salt, stirring with a whisk.

Place sugar and butter in a large bowl; beat with a mixer at medium speed until well blended (about 1 minute). Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating well after each addition. Add banana, rind, and juice; beat until blended. Add flour mixture; beat at low speed just until moist. Stir in walnuts; spoon batter into an 8 1/2 x 4 1/2-inch loaf pan coated with cooking spray. Bake at 350° for 1 hour and 5 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes in pan on a wire rack; remove from pan. Cool completely on wire rack.

Yield

1 loaf, 16 servings (serving size: 1 slice)

Nutritional Information

CALORIES 178(27% from fat); FAT 5.4g (sat 2.2g,mono 1.3g,poly 1.5g); PROTEIN 3.1g; CHOLESTEROL 34mg; CALCIUM 11mg; SODIUM 170mg; FIBER 1.2g; IRON 1mg; CARBOHYDRATE 30.5g

India travel notes

2008-02-14T20:59:00.007-05:00

December 25th, 2007

Bodh Gaya is indeed a land of Buddha. Many countries have their presence shown by building a monastery there (including Taiwan!) Yet, it is very rural. I happened to be there when Kagyu Monlan Chenmo was taking place. Pilgrims from all over the world were there. It could appear to be a big Buddhism convention for people not familiar with Tibetan Buddhism. I met a couple of Rinpoches as well as meeting the young Karmapa and heard his teachings. It is truly amazing to meet someone that possesses such a high spiritual wisdom at such a young age.

In addition, the place where Sujata fed Buddha Kheer (rice cooked with milk) is very near by surrounded by endless rice fields.

It is not far from paradise, perhaps it is due to the compassion of Buddhism, it seems that it is the place where beggars come, too.

December 17th, 2007

Varanasi is a very unique place indeed... It is a place for Hindus to come to die and get cremated. I spent a few hours at a Ghat watching the whole cremation process. It really makes me feel that a person consists of two parts, a physical body and a spiritual soul. A body is really just a container. A body without a soul is just a dead body, which is not a dead person. A body without a soul seems so objectified, arbitrary, anonymous... A body is so external.. A body is just a body and nothing more.

Still, it makes sense to strengthen the body to be a strong container for the soul.

This is my last day in Varanasi. This place is growing in me. It starts to be a lot of fun traveling in India after I absorb the psyche of the people and adopt the rhythm of their lives. For instance, while riding in an auto or a cycle rickshaw, just completely relax myself and let go any fear of getting into accidents.. then the ride started to become joyful. Walking on the streets that are dotted with cow dung and dog's poo, one could just pace himself easily and enjoy the stroll without stepping onto any as every single local soul does.

And yes, there is absolutely no personal space. Yet, people are extremely polite and patient. Amazing!!

December 14th, 2007

I am in Varanasi now. I think that God is in squalor and the filthiest of the filthiest. It is hard to be comfortable with the environment here without having any aversion to the filth. Perhaps, by constantly dealing with the aversion and not let aversion affect my mood is a spiritual practice already.

At the same time, I come to realize how much over rated being clean is in the West. Millions of people live in such an unsanitary state and function fine and happy. It makes me ponder...

Some of Papaji's followers stayed and started a very successful company, Organic India. (google it) I had a very good fortunate to meet both of the founders. One is from Israel and the other is from the US. The man is one of Papaji's favorite students. They are employing thousands of people in India. It is a pretty awesome story, in my opinion. The man threw a huge party for his birthday and invited everybody to come. I had a close encounter with him and questioned him
about Papaji's teaching. I must say that he possesses some special energy in him. It is hard to gauge his authenticity, but from what I could tell, he is an unusual character with building a very successful company.

I will stay here for a few days and visit Sarnath and on to my final journey, Bodh Gaya.

I feel badly for Indian mass.. I have not seen a country with such a huge disparity.. (maybe South Africa is the same..) It is a shame that the richest man is from India now and yet most of his country men live in poverty. This kind of phenomena manifested through Hinduism is very
questionable in my head.

December 12th, 2007

Here I am again... It's third day I am in Lucknow and am planning on leaving tomorrow for Varanasi. I found the official website for the place that I am staying at the moment.. http://www.satsangbhavan.net/ Internet is wonderful, isn't it? I am going to the farm tonight with folks here. So far, it feels like I am an extra here. There is no schedule, no program, no teaching for me. People here just go about doing their business. I don't quite know what is going on most of the time. It is OK by me as I am only here for a short stay. After all, I am really practicing to accept whatever it comes to me.

Last night I ventured outside to eat on my own instead of eating at Bhavan, I tried Shari (shai) Paneer.. wow.. it was really delicious. Indian food is amazing. The restaurant at Bhavan is very clean with nice vegetarian food but plain... Still, I have not had the courage to try any meat dishes yet. Paneer (cheese) is the one that comes close to.

I don't know what to think of the folks that stay here and run the place, but I am just taking them as they are. They are running a line of Indian herb called Organic India and doing some serious business, too. Discussing the message of Papaji is an unusual experience to me
because the message of Papaji is no students, no teachers, no teachings... You are already enlightened! So, the folks told me not to think much (well.. not to think at all..) to experience the Self (even the experience is a concept...) So.. there is a logic problem but who said that by understanding could give you happiness. So far, I could only go by how I feel from watching the video tapes. There is no doubt that Papaji, in my mind, is another messenger that simply wants to convey peace and love to everyone."

December 10th, 2007

I had my first train travel experience today. I thought that traveling during the day would allow me to see nice scenery... It turned out that there were times that I just wanted to close my eyes and stared away. It was so surreal (actually very distressing) to see the horrendous sight that garbage scattering along the tracks and humans going to bathroom everywhere. It was hard to see Sun, either, even though it was sunny day as a thick fog clouded the sky..

Still, I appreciated very much the human spirits of Indian people. This morning I woke up at 5:00am and made my way to the train station. It was only a 10 minute walk but an cycle rickshaw driver passed by and convinced me to take a ride. He rode it with such morning vigor
and spirits. Amazing and touching...

December 9th

Today is a pretty good day. I managed to switch to a hotel that cost only 1/3 price of the first hotel I stayed. It is much quieter, too. What a bargain! :-)

Then, I went out of this chaotic area to visit two temples, One is Baha'i and the other is Hindu. Both are right next to each other.. It shows a tolerant society as far as religion is concerned. The Baha'i temple is called Lotus Temple, which is massive and graceful. The Hindu one is ISKCON (http://www.iskcondelhi.com/) It has a very educational multimedia program to teach public what Bagahva-gita is really about. I was there when they had a chanting going on, so I sat
with them for a bit. That chanting, in my opinion, seems serving the similiar purpose to Sufi's chanting that we saw in the class. Lots of people were there.

Then, I went to RajGhat to see the burial ground for Ghandi. My camera was not working at that time and I just then gave up taking photos. I spent the rest of the afternoon touring Ghandi museum near by. The museum was founded in1964 and seems to have been staying that way
forever. The museum does not have fancy picture frames to preserve documents like we have in the US. The wall color is fading, too. Still, one could really feel the spirits of Ghandi. It has very detailed description of every phase of his life.

People do seem friendly over all. There are tons of tourists here. I have not met any one yet. It takes too much energy to strike up a conversation and most of time I am pondering what like is like to be an Indian here.... I can somehow see why so many Indians want to move to the US to avoid the proverty....anyway, but maybe that is not the case...

December 8th

This afternoon, I went to the Old Delhi. You could google Red Fort or Jama Mosjid to find out exactly where I was. I made it there on foot from the railway station area and decided to take human rickshaw on the way back. The journey both getting there and coming back should be
written very much about. I can't describe to you the congestion, misery (my judgment), filth that people endure here. Pictures will tell you the tales when I show you. Both Red Fort and Jama Mosjid are extremely impressive, though.

Doctor Fish

2008-02-14T19:45:00.002-05:00

Over the Chinese new year, I went with my whole family to a hotel on the eastern part of Taiwan where hot springs are abundant. The main feature in this hotel is spa treatment. It has many hot spring pools that one could dip in. One pool, interestingly, is filled with lots of doctor fish who is ready to eat off you deceased skin. It is an interesting experience, indeed. It feels very itch to be nibbled by those small creature and the feel do feel much smoother after coming out. Here are some reports online. Humans are amazing... They can turn fish into a doctor. :-)

* Fresh-eating fish
* It is in Turkey, too.

A new year's poem

2008-01-07T19:04:00.000-05:00

Here is a poem that I've got during the first sangha of the year.

There are so many paths leading to the homeland.
They all talk to me in silence. I invoke the Absolute.
Spring has come
to every corner of the ten directions.
Its song, alas, is only the song
of departure.

From Call me by true names, by Thich Nhat Hanh

My interpretation:

There are many spiritual paths in this life, and yet they all point to the same source, the homeland, or God, the ultimate reality.

Each one of them reveals the direction to that ultimate in silence while I am on this journey of quest.

Now, the wonderful timing has come. It touches all my senses and my whole being. The chirping birds, the blue sky and white clouds, the germaniting seeds all whisper a song to my ears... It is a song of departure, a departure for the ultimate.

Here is the poem that my dear friend got..

We will meet today. We will meet again tomorrow.
We will meet at the source every moment.
We will meet each other in all forms of life.

Chickpea to Cook

2008-01-07T18:12:00.000-05:00

This poem illustrates the relationship between a spiritual seeker and his / her teacher.

Chickpea to Cook
(translated by Coleman Barks)

A chickpea leaps almost over the rim of the pot
where it's being boiled.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

The cook knocks him down with the ladle.

"Don't you try to jump out.
You think I'm torturing you.
I'm giving you flavor,
so you can mix with spices and rice
and be the lovely vitality of a human being.

Remember when you drank rain in the garden.
That was for this."

Grace first. Sexual pleasure,
then a boiling new life begins,
and the Friend has something good to eat.

Eventually the chickpea
will say to the cook,
"Boil me some more.
Hit me with the skimming spoon.
I can't do this by myself.

I'm like an elephant that dreams of gardens
back in Hindustan and doesn't pay attention
to his driver. You're my cook, my driver,
my way into existence. I love your cooking."

The cook says,
"I was once like you,
fresh from the ground. Then I boiled in time,
and boiled in the body, two fierce boilings.

My animal soul grew powerful.
I controlled it with practices,
and boiled some more, and boiled
once beyond that,
and became your teacher."

Tending two shops

2007-11-25T09:47:00.000-05:00

This Rumi's poem inspires me this morning. I couldn't help putting it down here.

TENDING TWO SHOPS

Don't run around this world
looking for a hole to hide in.

There are wild beasts in every cave!
If you live with mice,
the cat claws will find you.

The only real rest comes
when you're alone with God.

Live in the nowhere that you came from,
even though you have an address here.

That's why you see things in two ways.
Sometimes you look at a person
and see a cynical snake.

Someone else sees a joyful lover,
and you're both right!

Everyone is half and half,
like the black and white ox.

Joseph looked ugly to his brothers,
and most handsome to his father.

You have eyes that see from that nowhere,
and eyes that judge distances,
how high and how low.

You own two shops,
and you run back and forth.

Try to close the one that's a fearful trap,
getting always smaller. Checkmate,
this way. Checkmate that.

Keep open the shop
where you're not selling fishhooks anymore.
You are the free-swimming fish.

&&&

Think that you're gliding out from the face of a cliff
like an eagle. Think you're walking
like a tiger walks by himself in the forest.
You're most handsome when you're after food.

Spend less time with nightingales and peacocks.
One is just a voice, the other just a color.

How to swim faster...

2007-11-24T10:37:00.000-05:00

Here is a few sites that I found that teach you how to swim faster! What a wonderful time that we live on. One can only wish that one day that knowledge can be downloaded into one's brain as that in the movie of Matrix.

* Swim drill
* From a youtube clip

An email to Archbishop Tutu

2007-11-21T12:11:00.001-05:00

I was a bit emotional after attending Archbishop's talk so I decided to write him an email, but I did not have his email address, so I sent it to the National Cathedral. To my surprise, I got a response. (I removed the names for anonymous reason.)

Dear Mr. Stone Boy,

I followed up on your request that your email be forwarded to Archbishop
Tutu. I learned just a few minutes ago that it was, indeed, forwarded
to his office in South Africa.

Staff assistant
Cathedral College

- Hide quoted text -

-----Original Message-----
From: Stone Boy
Sent: Wednesday, November 14, 2007 3:22 PM
To: Cathedral College
Subject: Re: The Spirituality of Reconciliation

Dear Sir,

I attend the speech delivered by Archbishop last night. Would you
please relay my attached message to him?

Thank you,

-Stone Boy

PS: attached message

Dear Archbishop,

I had the honor to attend your speech tonight at National Cathedral. I
appreciate very much your words at the end to encourage people to
bring out the best in themselves as God wants us to. I, however, could
not walk away without thinking about the missing message that I wish
you had delivered.

This mighty nation is currently engaging in wars wasting many lives,
God's beautiful creation, in Iraq and Afghanistan. The premise of this
war was the tragic 9/11 event of 6 years ago. The degree of calamity
of this event is by no means comparable to the collective suffering of
black Africans during the long Apartheid era in South Africa. When
Apartheid ended, black Africans forgave all the atrocity committed by
whites over many decades. And yet, when a twin tower came down,
America sent her troops into two nations and is killing many innocent
people. The American government and whoever was the decision maker in
starting the Iraq war seem to have totally forgotten what forgiveness
means.

It is my humble and earnest request for you to tell the American
public how much we could learn from the South African people about
forgiving their former enemy. Please educate them about what a
spiritual and honorable act it is to forgive and embrace the enemy.

Faithfully,

-Stone Boy

Toe nail painting == Car paint touchup

2007-09-24T22:44:00.000-04:00

Tonight I helped paint toe nails of a friend and I couldn't help thinking of the times when I touch up my car with thick paint.

There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.

2007-09-20T15:46:00.000-04:00

This is another wonderful song by Leonard Cohen.

Anthem

The birds they sang
at the break of day
Start again
I heard them say
Don't dwell on what
has passed away
or what is yet to be.

Ah the wars they will
be fought again
The holy dove
She will be caught again
bought and sold
and bought again
the dove is never free.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.

We asked for signs
the signs were sent:
the birth betrayed
the marriage spent
Yeah the widowhood
of every government --
signs for all to see.

I can't run no more
with that lawless crowd
while the killers in high places
say their prayers out loud.
But they've summoned, they've summoned up
a thundercloud
and they're going to hear from me.

Ring the bells that still can ring ...

You can add up the parts
but you won't have the sum
You can strike up the march,
there is no drum
Every heart, every heart
to love will come
but like a refugee.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
That's how the light gets in.
That's how the light gets in.

How to meditate on loving yourself...

2007-09-10T14:00:00.000-04:00

This Sunday I attended a talk given by a senior member in my sangha. The talk emphasizes the point that one could get all the love he needs from himself. There are many ways to paraphrase this concept. It is self-love, the foundation of being able to love others. It is the concept that one could find all the happiness from within rather than from the external sources. It is the concept that one should be self sufficient without the need to count on others to provide happiness.

It is an interesting concept that I have been exploring for many years. I still could not get it emotionally even though I understand it literally. I guess that it is the ultimate solution to the feeling of loneliness and being alone. When one is feeling lonely, usually it is the case when one needs some sort of love, companionship, feeling of connection with others, caring, and etc. If one could provide those kind of loves to oneself, one would not feel lonely any more. In a way, it makes so much sense that there is a Buddha nature in everyone (Buddhism speaking) or that there is a divinity within oneself (Sufism speaking) or that God is every present with you (Christianity speaking). The feeling of loneliness used to give me the feeling that the darkness of the night would never end or that one fallen into a bottomless deep well. Of course, these images are purely imaginations. Feeling lonely and alone would have never bothered a person unless a person identifies those feelings as real and then act out the negative actions accordingly. This illustrates the hazard of over thinking, which is a different topic by itself.

For now, I want to talk about the new meditation technique that I learned during the talk. I will call it self-love meditation. To practice self-love meditation, one sits in the lotus position and images a 5 year old of you laying down on your lap in the meantime. Now, meditate on giving love to this 5 year old of you unconditionally. Meditate on this 5 year old's needs for love, his pains and sufferings, and give any love that he would request and need. After doing this practice for a while, eventually you start to image this 5 year old sit up in the lotus position and merge with the present you. Now, this 5 year old one with the present you receives love which was given unconditionally. Whatever love was asked for is received during the meditation. Just feel and image what is that like. The key point is also for the present you that is one with 5 year old to feel the pains and sufferings that the 5 year old experienced during this love receiving practice.

The end of the talk I asked a question - "If one could get all the love s/he needs from within oneself, what is the point of getting into a relationship?" The senior member said, "a relationship is not so much about receiving is about giving."

It was a pretty profound night for me.

Tao Te Ching

2007-08-16T12:26:00.000-04:00

I will make an effort to study this ancient text every day until I finish it.

Here is the entry in Wikipedia.

I will attempt to study these versions.

Translated by Derek Lin

Translated by J. Legge

Translated by D.T. Suzuki & Paul Carus This one has original Chinese Text.

I recalled back in the days (in high school). We tried to study the original texts. We (at least I) could not understand it. I only got the fuzzy meaning of it. Till this day, it is still fuzzy to me. The text was written in such ancient Chinese which could be written as in Greek to us. Since I am in the West now, many people here consider this as a sacred text, I will give another attempt to read it. Perhaps, with the help of multiple translations, I will finally gain some meaning of this text.

My comments:

There are 81 chapters of this book. The first chapter is the most famous one that contains this opening line "The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao
The name that can be named is not the eternal name.

I have a bit trouble with chapter 3 on Keeping the people quiet. It is as if it was written purposely for a dictator who would like to control the heart and minds of his/her people. There was not Democracy back then after all. It is wonderful to see that humans actually make lots of progress in terms of equality in society.

I like this phrase in Chapter 8 Easy By Nature. "Superior goodness resembleth water. The water's goodness benefiteth the ten thousand things, yet it quarreleth not."

There is this very common theme among all the spiritual practices in chapter 12 ABSTAINING FROM DESIRE

Ineffability

2007-08-16T12:19:00.000-04:00

I came across this interesting concept that is summarized by this word. Here is the first paragraph from Wikipedia.

To say that something is "ineffable" means that it cannot or should not, for overwhelming reasons, be expressed in spoken words (as with the concept of true love). It is generally used to describe a feeling, concept or aspect of existence that is too great to be adequately described in words, or that inherently (due to its nature) cannot be conveyed in dualistic symbolic human language, but can only be known internally by individuals.

In Zen it is often said that (by analogy) the finger can point to the moon but is not the moon; likewise words and actions can point towards what is ineffable but cannot make another know it.

Here is the entry.

Lalashan Forest Reserve

2007-07-31T14:29:00.000-04:00

I had a good fortunate to visit this reserve with my whole family a week ago. It has giant cypress trees dotted in a beautiful forest area. I saw one tree named as "The Bear's den" and it claims to be 2,800 years old. (Well, it is not as old as this one.) This is almost unthinkable to me. That tree has been around before Buddhism was created! It is beyond my comprehension. That tree has witnessed all the super fast advancement of human civilization. It must bear lots of wisdom in it. What an odd logic I drew.

Still, I feel the calming effect very much while walking in the forest. It is a treasure place from Taiwan.

Thunderbirds

2007-07-19T08:14:00.000-04:00

While I was on vacation visiting my brother's family, my brother and my nephew gladly told me about Thunderbirds TV Series that they purchased in DVD format. Even my sister was hymning the main theme of the background music and I was impressed. I vaguely remembered watching them when I was way too little. I remember that there are 5 aircrafts, number 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. That was about it. I don't remember any character's names, not to mention that it was a foreign language to me at that time even though it was translated into Mandarin.

Now, my English is so much better than before. I could clearly understand the whole episode. I am impressed by how advanced the idea and imaginative spacecrafts were even by today's standard.

So, without further adieu. Here is the wikipedia entry of this.

The sword of Damocles

2007-07-12T11:02:00.000-04:00

The Roman politician and philosopher Cicero (1-6-43) tells the famous story about the Syracusan tyrant Dionysius II and his courtier Damocles, which he had read in the History of Timaeus of Tauromenium. The anecdote is often told as a reminder that for a powerful man, there's always danger, although the real point of the story is that happiness is fragile.

This translation of Cicero's Tusculan disputations 5.61 was made by Gavin Betts.

Indeed this tyrant [Dionysius II of Syracuse] himself gave his judgment as to how fortunate he was. For when one of his flatterers, Damocles, mentioned in conversation the wealth of Dionysius, the majesty of his rule, the abundance of his possessions, the magnificence of the royal palace and denied that there had ever been anyone more fortunate, he said, 'So, Damocles, since this life delights you, do you wish to taste it yourself and make trial of my fortune?'

When Damocles said that he desired this, Dionysius gave orders that the man be placed on a golden couch covered with a most beautiful woven rug, embroidered with splendid works; he adorned many sideboards with chased silver and gold; then he gave orders that chosen boys of outstanding beauty should stand by his table and that they, watching for a sign from Damocles, should attentively wait on him; there were unguents and garlands; perfumes were burning; tables were piled up with the most select foods. Damocles seemed to himself fortunate.

In the middle of this luxury Dionysius ordered that a shining sword, fastened from the ceiling by a horse-hair, be let down so that it hung over the neck of that fortunate man. And so he looked neither at those handsome waiters nor the wonderful silver work, nor did he stretch his hand to the table. Now the very wreaths slipped off. Finally he begged the tyrant that he should be allowed to depart because he no longer wanted to be fortunate.

Here is a Lou Reed's rendition:

I see The Sword of Damocles
is right above your head
They're trying a new treatment
to get you out of bed
But radiation kills both bad and good
it can not differentiate
So to cure you they must kill you
the Sword of Damocles hangs above your head

Now I have seen lots of people die
from car crashes or drugs
Last night on 33rd st.
I saw a kid get hit by a bus
But this drawn out torture over which part of you lives
is very hard to take
To cure you they must kill you
the Sword of Damocles above your head

That mix of morphine and dexedrine
we use it on the street
It kills the pain and keeps you up
your very soul to keep
But this guessing game has its own rules
the good don't always win
And might makes right
the Sword of Damocles is hanging above your head

It seems everything's done that must be done
from over here though things don't seem fair
But there are things that we can't know
maybe there's something over there
Some other world that we don't know about
I know you hate that mystic shit
It's just another way of seeing
the Sword of Damocles above your head

Full Metal Jacket

2007-07-10T11:05:00.000-04:00

For some inexplicable reason, the following chant from a private in the movie keeps repeating in my head. I clearly remember how haunting that was to watch the whole movie back at one late summer night. I had a hard time going to bed after that. War is really a terrifying experience. It should be prevented at all cost.

"This is my rifle. There are many like it but this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my rifle and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of my enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen."

Shouldn't people experience the dark side to really appreciate the bright side? Not really yet not sure. For now, let me follow the mantra - just be and fully be with whatever that is happening at the present moment.

Ego

2007-06-26T12:16:00.000-04:00

Ego's tricks

"One of the great dangers of transformational work is that the ego attempts to sidestep deep psychological work by leaping into the transcendent too soon. This is because the ego always fancies itself much more ‘advanced’ than it actually is."

-- Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson

The Tibetan teacher, Chogyam Trungpa, warned of the trap of spiritual materialism. He says we must be ever diligent to spot the ego’s use of the spiritual journey to further its own ends.

We may think it’s spiritual to yearn for divine connection. And yet, if the longing is to fill an emptiness inside, just how does this differ from the one who yearns for money or possessions to fill the inner void? Do we look to our spiritual practices as proof of our evolved consciousness or as protection against fears?

Any time we use spiritual disciplines to maintain our identity and security, we are not yet on the path of genuine spiritual development.

"Enlightenment is ego’s ultimate disappointment."

-- Chögyam Trungpa

a hero only one

2007-06-18T13:46:00.000-04:00

“A coward dies a thousand deaths, a hero only one.” ~~Shakespeare

Do the Meditation Rock

2007-06-18T13:43:00.001-04:00

Do the Meditation Rock
Allen Ginsberg

To listen

If you want to learn how to meditate
I’ll tell you now ’cause it’s never too late
I’ll tell you how ’cause I can’t wait
it’s just that great that it’s never too late
If you are an old fraud like me
or a lama who lives in Eternity
The first thing you do when you meditate
is keep your spine your backbone straight
Sit yourself down on a pillow on the ground
or sit in a chair if the ground isn’t there
if the ground isn't there
if the ground isn't there
Sit where you are if the ground isn't there

Do the meditation Do the meditation
Do the meditation Do the meditation
Learn a little Patience and Generosity

Follow your breath out open your eyes
sit there steady & sit there wise
Follow your breath right outta your nose
follow it out where ever it goes
Follow your breath but don’t hang on
to the thought of your death in old Saigon
Follow your breath when thought forms rise
whatever you think it’s a big surprise
It's a big surprise
It's a big surprise
Whatever you think its a big surprise
Do the meditation Do the meditation
Do the meditation Do the meditation
Learn a little Patience and Generosity
Generosity Generosity Generosity yeah Generosity

All you got to do is to imitate
you’re sitting meditating and you’re never too late
when thoughts catch up but your breath goes on
forget what you thought about Uncle Don
Laurel Hardy Uncle Don Charlie Chaplin Uncle Don
See a vision come say Hello Goodbye
play it dumb but with an empty eye
if you want a holocaust you can recall your mind
it just went past with the Western wind

Do the meditation Do the meditation
Do the meditation Do the meditation
Learn a little Patience & Generosity
Generosity Generosity Generosity Generosity

I fought the Dharma and the Dharma won
If you see Apocalypse in a long red car
or a flying saucer sit where you are
If you feel a little bliss don’t worry about that
give your wife a kiss when your tire goes flat
when your tire goes flat
when your tire goes flat
keep your hard on under your hat
If you can’t think straight & you don’t know who to call
it’s never too late to do nothing at all
do nothing at all
do nothing at all
it's never to late to do nothing at all
Do the meditation follow your breath
so your body & mind get together for a rest
get together for a rest
get together for a rest
Relax your mind get together for a rest

Do the meditation Do the meditation
Do the meditation Do the meditation
Learn a little Patience and Generosity
Generosity Generosity Generosity Generosity

If you sit for an hour or a minute every day
you can tell the Superpower to sit the same way
you can tell the Superpower to watch and to wait
& to stop & meditate ’cause it’s never too late
No its never too late
It's never too late to tell the superpower to stop and meditate
No its never too late
It's never too late to tell the superpower to stop and meditate

Do the meditation Do the meditation
Do the meditation Do the meditation
Get yourself together lots of Energy
& Generosity Generosity Generosity yeah Generosity!
Generosity Generosity Generosity yeah Generosity!

Right View

2007-06-14T10:37:00.000-04:00

Even if there is no one around to project negativity in our direction, we can perceive the moment such that we generate suffering. For example, you think of someone you don't like and you get upset (i.e. suffer). This could be someone who has never even met you and does not know of your existence. This particular example is far more significant than the example of people who are negative with us as it has everything to do with US (i.e. the way that we think). Hence the Buddhist emphasis on right view.

--Kourosh

90 percent of daily thoughts are redundent -- re-cooked and reheated from the year, day or moment before. We can find freedom by releaseing but instead we like to cling and consequenctly suffer. It's so simple yet the lot of us don't get it.

-- Fabrice (Brent met while traveling in India)

Garrison Institute

2007-05-29T10:40:00.000-04:00

I just came back from Garrison Institute's retreat with Gehlek Rimpoche. Thank you both for encouraging me to go there. It was really a wonderful surprise for me. I am deeply touched by his teachings and the love and support from other participants. The Rimpoche showed me tremendous compassion and wisdom. The participants impressed me very much, too. Most people that I met seem quite advanced in Tibetan Buddhism practice already. Also, most people I met (and I met quite a few of them) there were married and in relationship, which sort of contradicted my belief that many would be single. It is a sign of a healthy sangha, I think!

I had a good fortunate to meet with Rimpoche in a small gathering (about 15 people) for about half an hour. I sat directly across from him maybe 15 feet apart. And I could sense an uplift energy in me directly coming from him. It was so unusual and energizing. Later on, I asked a couple of people who were in that small gathering and they all told me the same experiences. Amazing!

The retreat ended with a dedication by one member who played violin in the meditation hall. The melody was almost heavenly and touched the heart of everyone there. The meditation hall used to be a Franciscan monastery is so beautiful. The location of Garrison Institute is wonderful surrounded by Hudson river and mountains. The only drawback is the railroads running by the river banks and the train noise constantly breaks the otherwise perfect setting.

Additional notes:

1. The chanting and singing are so beautiful. The lead singer has an amazing male voice. It almost reminds me of Gregorian chant. It evokes harmony, sacredness, and beauty in me.

2. The meditation is not meant to be quiet. This is something brand new to me. The meditation practiced in that tradition more precisely is an analytic meditation. Usually a senior student would summarize what the teacher just taught in the previous session. The analytic session is highly intellectual and analytical. The senior students were extremely eloquent, too. They summarize the teachings to its very essence. I am very impressed.

3. The teaching strikes me to be extremely intellectual. It requires a full concentration and focus. I felt exhausted at the end of the day from mental activities. It is definitely not a relaxing feel from other retreats that I have been.

4. Most participants that I met are highly intellectual, too. I met a group of Waldorf school teachers. I met a medical doctor, a lawyer, a few psychologists, a few PhDs, and a few writers. One guy specializes in Eastern Religion and fluent in Sanskrit and even the teacher has to consult him to clarify certain words in Buddhism.

5. I had a couple of close encounters with Rimpoche. I didn’t see the bright shining eyes in him. He is a short and stocky man. In the small gathering that I was, however, I felt a glowing energy directly from him. I couldn’t pinpoint from where but I just felt it and it was exceptional.

6. One of my roommates did not really participate most of the sessions but just went hiking. He is recovering from Narcotic addition. I felt very compassionate toward his situation. He serves as a reminder for me how powerless we are over our addiction.

7. By virtue of being one of the few foreign Asian men there, some participants tell me their antidotes that make me laugh and perplex. Some of them responded immediately that “N” is not my real name. A blond woman who has been in the group for a long while and told me about “MIT” acronym and I didn’t get it for a while until she explained. Later on, she was happily saying that both she and her sister are married to ones. One guy told me about his travel experience to Kaoshung, Taiwan, where he saw Mickey Mouse in one of the Taoist temple and asked me why. One woman was raving about her China travel stories, and Wong Kar-wai to another man sitting next to me during breakfast.

8. The alternative free route up there works very well. Go to Baltimore, take I-83 to Harrisburg, and take I-81 to Scranton, and I-84 to New York. It is almost like a country road. It is very pretty but most of them are just 2 lane highways.

9. The subject that Rimpoche taught will require some time for me to digest. He talked a lot about Self-cherishing and self-grasping and why they are enemy to be destroyed. One thing that stuck in my head is about taking in other's suffering by practicing taking in my own suffering in the future... hmm.. very revolutionary idea.

Daily Buddhism meditation

2007-05-15T10:42:00.000-04:00

(Quoted from here)

We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started, and know the place for the first time. - T.S. Eliot

Let go of the past! Let go of the future! Let go of the present and cross over to the farther shore of existence. With your mind wholly liberated, you shall come no more to birth and death. - Buddha

"All conditioned things are impermanent" - When one sees this with wisdom, one turns away from suffering. This is the path to purification. - Buddha

To gain that worth having, it may be necessary to lose everything else. - Bernadette Devlin

Man is most nearly himself when he achieves the seriousness of a child at play. - Heraclitus

We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves. - Buddha

I teach that the multitudinousness of objects have no reality in themselves but are only seen of the mind and, therefore, are of the nature of maya and a dream. ...It is true that in one sense they are seen and discriminated by the senses as individualized objects; but in another sense, because of the absence of any characteristic marks of self-nature, they are not seen but are only imagined. In one sense they are graspable, but in another sense, they are not graspable. -Buddha

The worst computer fixing experience?

2007-05-14T22:01:00.000-04:00

Tonight I came back from a friend's office. He asked me to install a contact management software on a 5 year old Celeron powered laptop with 384 Mbyte RAM. The laptop is painfully slow. Every mouse click takes a painful few seconds to respond. The contact management software requires at least 512 Mbyte RAM to run.

I suggested that it is time to get a new computer.

But he won't listen to my advice and still would like to try to install that software on it. This decision eventually takes a toll on my patience. I could hardly hide my reluctance to work on this machine. I just wanted to leave and go home, but another friend of his, who is also none techie, was also there and kept asking me questions on why it didn't work. I answered his questions half heartedly.

It was very stressful.

Stressful to the point that I couldn't help but show my stress.

What a bad experience is this!

How would I maintain my equanimity in a situation like this? Is it possible?

A lesson from the garden

2007-05-14T15:01:00.000-04:00

Yesterday afternoon I went with a close friend to my garden to pick up some plants to be transferred to her garden. The spearmint plant that I planted the day before was dry and withered by the sunlight. I planted that spearmint on the spot due to accidental uprooting it while I was picking some of its leaves. The day before we also brought back some spearmint and peppermint leaves and branches in the house. They were drooping on top of piano now but still in a relative good shape.

We all know that plants can't live without sunlight. Yet, a strong sun ray will easily burn off a delicate plant.

This teaches me that things would flourish only in the right condition. But, what is the right condition? Even though sun, water, and air are crucial to plants, plants can only flourish with right combination of each element. Perhaps, balance is the key. This is really how things are in general. I could extrapolate this to human relationships. People only meet with the right conditions and their relationships flourish in the right conditions as well.

Sun is a creator and a destroyer, too.

How To Play Djembe

2007-04-30T13:44:00.000-04:00

(extract from http://www.wwdrums.com/how-to-play-djembe-a-12.html)

There are two positions for playing the Djembe, standing and sitting. We find the best way to begin to play the Djembe is in the sitting position. This is the most common method with Drum Circles as well. You can also play the Djembe in a standing position with the use of a strap. For this article, we will discuss the sitting position.

To play the djembe, sit up straight on the edge of a chair. Cross your ankles and tuck them slightly under you. Hold the djembe between your knees or thighs so that the bottom of the drum rests behind your heels.

There are three basic tones for the Djembe. You can experiment and find variations on these tones. However, it's important to begin with first mastering the basics of these tones. A good practice method is to first work on your tones for 10 - 15 minutes each practice session then work on various rhythms using the tones.

Here are the tones:

Bass: Noted as B, Gun or Dun. Use a locked or stiff wrist. If you rest your hand on the drum then lift your third knuckles up just slightly, this is the position the hand should be in when it strikes the drum. The bass tone is made by striking the center of the drum with your hand in the above-described position. When your hand comes down onto the head of the drum, allow your slightly raised knuckles to drop to the head. Remove your hand immediately after the stroke as if the drum is hot. Envision yourself pulling the sound from the Djembe. At higher drumming speeds you will want your hand to bounce off the head as a drum stick would if you used a stick. This tone uses the whole hand.

A note to women, and possibly men, with long dresses. Keep the bottom of the drum open and unobstructed by your dress. The reason we tip the drum forward is to open the bottom of the drum to let the air pressure out. Without this free movement of air, the drum is choked and cannot produce a bass tone.

Slap: Noted as S, Pa or Ta. With your hand relaxed and fingers open, strike the rim of the drum with your third set of knuckles and palm at the rim of the Djembe and allow your fingertips to "slap" down on to the head and immediately bounce back off. If done correctly, you can even leave the palm of your hand on the drum without affecting the resonant sound of the slap. In this tone the weight of your fingertips will do all the work. You don't need to play hard to get the slap tone. Think of this tone as using half your hand.

Tone: Noted as T, Go or Do. With your fingers together and your hand flat and firm, strike the Djembe close to the edge of the rim. The only part of the hand that should come in contact with the drum is your fingers from the tip to the center or second knuckle. Unless you want a dead or choked sound, let your hand bounce off pulling the tones from the drum. Of the three tones, this tone takes the least amount of hand to drum contact.

With all the strokes, don't hurt yourself! The slap tone is the tone most people over play and run the risk of being injured. You don't need to be the loudest drummer around. You're striving to be the drummer who can plow the deepest groove. That is, the one who is the most consistent and overall rhythmically musical. It's all about enjoying yourself, being musical and getting lost in the music. Pain only interrupts the journey.

Practice does not make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect. The idea here is you do not want to practice bad habits. Work on your tones and get the basics down to the point that they become natural. Instructional books and DVDs are a great way to get started.

A good practice method is to move through the tones, slowly at first, one at a time B - S - T. Once you have nice definition between the tones, move on to the rhythms, e.g., B B - S - T, etc. Work with one hand at a time. When you feel comfortable with your right (R) hand, move to the left (L) hand. Then begin to alternate hands.

Try these exercises:

BTT BTT BTT BTT or Bass Tone Tone Bass Tone Tone Bass Tone Tone... etc.
RLR LRL RLR LRL or Right Left Right Left Right Left Right Left Right... etc.

BBS BBS BBS BBS
RLR LRL RLR LRL

TSS TSS TSS TSS
RLR LRL RLR LRL

Stay relaxed and comfortable when playing.

Above all, play from the heart!

Nick Z.

One is silver and the other gold

2007-04-28T18:46:00.000-04:00

"Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold."
--Girl Scout song

A Thirsty Fish

2007-04-24T12:10:00.001-04:00

A Thirsty Fish

I don't get tired of you. Don't grow weary
of being compassionate toward me!

All this thirst equipment
must surely be tired of me,
the waterjar, the water carrier.

I have a thirsty fish in me
that can never find enough
of what it's thirsty for!

Show me the way to the ocean!
Break these half-measures,
these small containers.

All this fantasy
and grief.

Let my house be drowned in the wave
that rose last night in the courtyard
hidden in the center of my chest.

Joseph fell like the moon into my well.
The harvest I expected was washed away.
But no matter.

A fire has risen above my tombstone hat.
I don't want learning, or dignity,
or respectability.

I want this music and this dawn
and the warmth of your cheek against mine.

The grief-armies assemble,
but I'm not going with them.

This is how it always is
when I finish a poem.

A great silence comes over me,
and I wonder why I ever thought
to use language.

"Mevlâna Jalâluddîn Rumi translated by Coleman Barks"

Blue skies

2007-04-22T22:18:00.000-04:00

Blue skies
Smiling at me
Nothing but blue skies
Do I see

Bluebirds
Singing a song
Nothing but bluebirds
All day long

Never saw the sun shining so bright
Never saw things going so right
Noticing the days hurrying by
When you're in love, my how they fly

Blue days
All of them gone
Nothing but blue skies
From now on

by "Irving Berlin"

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

2007-04-18T15:15:00.000-04:00

THEN a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.

And he answered:

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the self same well from which your laughter
rises was often times filled with your tears.

And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your
being, the more joy you can contain.

Is not the cup that holds your wine the very
cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit,
the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart
and you shall find it is only that which has given
you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth you are weeping

for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow,"
and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.

Together they come, and when one sits alone with
you at your board, remember that the other is
asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales
between your sorrow and your joy.

Only when you are empty are you at
standstill and balanced.

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh
his gold and his silver, needs must your joy
or your sorrow rise or fall.

~ Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

How to free ourselves of negative emotions?

2007-04-18T12:37:00.000-04:00

How to free ourselves of negative emotions?

1. The use of antidotes: One fundamental point emphasized by Buddhism is that two diametrically opposed mental processes cannot form simultaneously. We may fluctuate rapidly between love and hatred, but we cannot feel in the same instance of consciousness the desire to hurt someone and to do him good. “One movement precludes the other; when you extend a friendly hand, you cannot make a fist.”

a. It is equally impossible for greed or desire to coexist with inner freedom. Desire can fully develop only when it is allowed to run rampant to the point where it monopolizes the mind. … In the worst cases, desire can drive us continuously to seek satisfaction at any cost; the more satisfaction seems to elude us, the more it obsesses us. On the other hand, when we contemplate its disturbing aspects and turn our minds toward developing inner calm, the obsession of desire can begin to melt like snow in the sun. Make no mistake --- there’s no question here of ceasing to love those whose lives we share, or of becoming indifferent to them. When we stop projecting the insatiable demands of our attachments onto people, we are able to love them more and to feel genuine concern for their true well-being.

2. Freeing the emotions

a. “Remember that a thought is only the fleeting conjunction of myriad factors and circumstances. It does not exist by itself. When a thought arises, recognize its empty nature. It will immediately lose its power to elicit the next thought, and the chain of delusion will be broken. Recognize that emptiness of thoughts and allow your thoughts to rest a moment in the relaxed mind so that the mind’s natural clarity remains limpid and unchanged.” – Khyentse Rinpoche

3. Using the emotions as catalysts

a. Emotions are not inherently disturbing, though they seem so the moment we identify with and hold on to them. The pure consciousness of which we have spoken, and which is the source of all mental events, is neither good nor bad in and of itself. Thoughts become disturbing only once the process of “fixation” is set in motion, when we attach ourselves ot the qualities we attribute to the object of the emotion and to the self that is feeling it.

b. Once we learn to avoid that fixation, we do not need to bring in antidotes from the outside; the emotions themselves act as catalysts for freeing ourselves of their baneful influence. This happens because our point of view changes. When we fall into the sea, it is the water itself that buoys us and allows us to swim to shore. But we still need to know how to swim – that is, to have enough skill to exploit the emotions to good effect without drowning in their negative aspects.

These are quoted from “Happiness” by Mathieu Ricard. I copied down this almost a year ago while I was stuck at Miami International Airport.

It doesn't have to be sad...

2007-04-16T12:54:00.000-04:00

This morning I served food (eggs exactly) to the homeless people at the kitchen. There were about 180 people passing my spot with scrambled eggs on their trays. I cracked 300 of eggs before that.

When I looked at them in the eyes, most of them were neutral, some of them were disengaging, some of them were just gazing, but a few of them had sparkling in their eyes. I was especially impressed by one man. He wore a very positive demeanor and had lots of shen in his eyes. I was even energized by his bright eye sight for a brief moment in that windowless basement kitchen. That bright eyesight immediately reminded me of my friend John B. who is currently working in Africa right now. I always felt a sense of wonder and his expansive warm presence whenever I was around him.

It made me wonder what made that man stand out from my radar screen. I am guessing that a person doesn't have to be sad when he or she is in a difficult situation. There must be an innate joy and innocence in everybody. It really is not by default that we have to react with sadness when we are in a difficult situation. The innate joy, love and light, are always there and will cut through the fog.

Rumi's poems quoted in Wikipedia

2007-04-16T09:47:00.001-04:00

* All day I think about it, then at night I say it. Where did I come from, and what am I supposed to be doing? I have no idea. My soul is from elsewhere, I'm sure of that, and I intend to end up there.

* Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, idolator, worshipper of fire, come even though you have broken your vows a thousand times, Come, and come yet again. Ours is not a caravan of despair.
o Variant: Come, come again, whoever you are, come! Heathen, fire worshipper or idolatrous, come! Come even if you broke your penitence a hundred times, Ours is the portal of hope, come as you are.

* Do not grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.

* Every tree and plant in the meadow seemed to be dancing, those which average eyes would see as fixed and still.

* Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.

* Everyone sees the unseen in proportion to the clarity of his heart, and that depends upon how much he has polished it. Whoever has polished it more sees more — more unseen forms become manifest to him.

* He is like a man using a candle to look for the sun.

* I want a heart which is split, chamber by chamber, by the pain of separation from God, so that I might explain my longings and desires to it.

* If the foot of the trees were not tied to earth, they would be pursuing me.. For I have blossomed so much, I am the envy of the gardens.

* If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?

* It may be that the satisfaction I need depends on my going away, so that when I've gone and come back, I'll find it at home.

* Let the beauty of what you love be what you do.

* Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy, absent-minded. Someone sober will worry about events going badly. Let the lover be.

* Like a thief reason sneaked in and sat amongst the lovers eager to give them advice. They were unwilling to listen, so reason kissed their feet and went on its way.

* Observe the wonders as they occur around you. Don't claim them. Feel the artistry moving through and be silent.

* Oh soul, you worry too much. You have seen your own strength. You have seen your own beauty. You have seen your golden wings. Of anything less, why do you worry? You are in truth the soul, of the soul, of the soul.

* Only from the heart can you touch the sky.

* Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.

* Pilgrimage to the place of the wise is to find escape from the flame of separateness.

* Reason is like an officer when the king appears. The officer then loses his power and hides himself. Reason is the shadow cast by God; God is the sun.

* Reason is powerless in the expression of Love.

* Return from existence to nonexistence. You are seeking the Lord and you belong to him. Nonexistence is a place of income; flee it not. This existence of more and less is a place of expenditure.

* Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.

* Something opens our wings. Something makes boredom and hurt disappear. Someone fills the cup in front of us: We taste only sacredness.

* The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you; Don't go back to sleep. You must ask for what you really want; Don't go back to sleep. People are going back and forth across the doorsill where the two worlds touch. The door is round and open. Don't go back to sleep.

* The Eternal looked upon me for a moment with His eye of power, and annihilated me in His being, and become manifest to me in His essence. I saw I existed through Him.

* The fault is in the blamer — Spirit sees nothing to criticize.

* The lion is most handsome when looking for food.

* The way you make love is the way God will be with you.

* This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.

* We can’t help being thirsty, moving toward the voice of water.

* We come spinning out of nothingness, scattering stars like dust.

* When I am with you, we stay up all night. When you're not here, I can't go to sleep. Praise God for those two insomnias! And the difference between them.

* Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open? Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking. Live in silence.

* You are quaffing drink from a hundred fountains: whenever any of these hundred yields less, your pleasure is diminished. But when the sublime fountain gushes from within you, no longer need you steal from the other fountains.

* You are the deep innerness of all things, the last word that can be spoken. To each of us you reveal yourselves differently: to the ship as coastline, to the shore as ship.

* You knock at the door of Reality. You shake your thought wings, loosen your shoulders, and open.

* You were born with wings. Why prefer to crawl through life?

* Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

Relationship (from Stillness Speaks)

2007-04-13T15:02:00.000-04:00

How quick we are to form an opinion of a person, to come to a conclusion about them. It is satisfying to the egoic mind to label another human being, to give them a conceptual identity, to pronounce righteous judgment upon them.

Every human being has been conditioned to think and behave in certain ways -- conditioned genetically as well as by their childhood experiences and their cultural environment.

This is not who they are, but that is who they appear to be. When you pronounce judgment upon someone, you confuse those conditioned mind patterns with who they are. To do that is in itself a deeply conditioned and unconscious pattern. You give them a conceptual identity, and that false identity becomes a prison not only for the other person but also for yourself.

To let go of judgment does not mean that you don't see what they do. It means that you recognize their behavior as a form of conditioning, and you see it and accept it as that. You don't construct an identity out of it for that person.

That liberates you as well as the other person from identification with conditioning, with form, with mind. The ego then no longer runs your relationships.

~~~~~~~

As long as the ego runs your life, most of your thoughts,emotions, and actions arise from desire and fear. In relationships you then either want or fear something from the other person.

What you want from them may be pleasure or material gain, recognition, praise or attention, or a strengthening of your sense of self through comparison and through establishing that you are, have, or know more than they. What you fear is that the opposite may be the case, and they may diminish your sense of self in some way.

When you make the present moment for focal point of your attention -- instead of using it as a means to an end -- you go beyond the ego and beyond the unconscious compulsion to use people as a means to an end, the end being self-enhancement at the cost of others. When you give your fullest attention to whoever you are interacting with, you take past and future out of the relationship, except for practical matters. When you are fully present with everyone you meet, you relinquish the conceptual identity you made for them -- your interpretation of who they are and what they did in the past -- and are able to interact without the egoic movements of desire and fear. Attention, which is alert stillness, is the key.

--Echkart Tolle

Moving Through the Seasons by Ken -- autumn Solstice 2006

2007-04-13T11:36:00.000-04:00

I. Arrive & Preparing for practice - Track #1 Spirit of life
* Arrive and connect with body, breath and surroundings
* Notice your mental, physical and emotional state; note any particular needs or desires and create a personal intention
* Reflect on the season of Autumn, the Solstice; movement, and meditation in your life

II. Intention & Three Intentful Corrections - #17 Total Praise
Breath, Posture/Movement, and Consciousness (mind, body, heart and spirit)

III. Review with Relaxing exercises - #8 Hush
1. Open the feet by stepping to the left; toes pointing forward, feet in parallel
2. Shoulder, elbow and wrist circles (remember soft knees and legs, relaxed mind, easy breath)
3. Shift weight turning the head, neck and arms
4. Wave hands as willows or seaweed, wave hands as clouds

IVa. Letting Go Consciously -
* Shaking out stagnant Qi
* Feel apart, tall spine, relaxed belly, chest and back; full circular breath; head tall, eyes slightly down; arms in front, tip of the tongue behind the upper teeth to complete the cosmic orbit and relax the jaw;
* relax the body and mind and remember to breathe;
* notice whatever you notice in body, mind and heart, shake or snap and release it with a sounding Aaaaahh breath

IVb. Reflection and Notetaking

Va. Renew with the three Directions
Vertical, Sideways, In/Out
* Fountain Qi
* Float hands and wrists forward and side
* Sink elbows and gather Qi ball
* Bathe the body, heart, mind and marrow
* Gather Qi by brushing backs of hands back, out and forward and create a ball of Qi bringing it into the lower Tan Tien (below the navel)
* Repeat each exercise and/or whole sequence as many times as you like

Vb. Generating Qi connecting heaven and earth
* Spontaneous Movement and locomotion
* Carpal tunnel exercise to front and sides (standing or seated)
* Dragon serving tea
* Giving Qi to the arms, shoulders and neck (alternating sides)
* Bathing the marrow and sense organs

VI. Reflection on renewal - Tenderly

VII. Closing - Total Praise
* Take a few moments to reflect on and integrate your direct experience
* Notice any new awareness or insight
* Remember what you remember, repeat and practice transitions, make the movement your own.
* Plant any seeds of intention for the day, week, or season.
* Forget what you don't remember, keep the mind relaxed
* Take a couple of conscious breaths and make a mindful transition to the rest of your day.

A few quotes from Bhagavad Gita

2007-04-11T16:16:00.000-04:00

The supreme Lord said:

"You are grieving for that which is not to be grieved for. Yet you are speaking like a great scholar. A true scholar would not worry about life that has ended or not ended."
[Chapter 2 Verse 11]

"There was never a time when I did not exist, nor you, nor all these kings. Nor will we ever cease to exist in future."
[Chapter 2 Verse 12]

"Just as the embodied soul passes from childhood to youth to old age, it also passes from one body to another. The undaunted person therefore is not deluded."
[Chapter 2 Verse 13]

"Heat and cold, pleasure and pain arise merely because of the contact of the senses with the sense objects. They are fleeting. Therefore O Arjuna, try to tolerate them."
[Chapter 2 Verse 14]

The benefit of Meditation

2007-04-11T12:00:00.000-04:00

Buddhaghosa, author of The Path of Purification, tells us that when our meditation begins to bear fruit, we will recognize in ourselves these signs of a loving mind: (1) our sleep is more relaxed, (2) we do not have nightmares, (3) our waking state is more at ease, (4) we are not anxious or depressed, and (5) we are loved and protected by everyone and everything around us.

In the Anguttara Nikaya, the Buddha mentions eleven advantages of practicing love meditation. The Buddha speaks in these terms --- of what is advantageous and what is disadvantageous --- because doing so encourages people to practice.

1. The practitioner sleeps well.
2. Upon waking, she feels well and light in her heart.
3. He does not have unpleasant dreams.
4. She is well-liked by many people. She feels at ease with everyone. Others, especially children, like to be near her.
5. He is dear to the nonhuman species: birds, fish, elephants, squirrels. Species that are visible and invisible like to be near him.
6. She is supported and protected by gods and goddesses.
7. He is protected from fire, poison, and the sword. He does not need to make any special effort to avoid them.
8. She reaches meditative concentration easily.
9. His face is bright and clear.
10. At the time of death, her mind is clear.
11. He is reborn in the Brahma Heaven, where he can continue the practice, because there is already a Sangha of those practicing the Four Immeasurable Minds.

-- Teaching on Love by Thich Nhat Hanh

The New Rule

2007-04-09T10:44:00.000-04:00

It's the old rule that drunks have to argue
and get into fights.
The lover is just as bad. He falls into a hole.
But down in that hole he finds something shining,
worth more than any amount of money or power.

Last night the moon came dropping its clothes in the street.
I took it as a sign to start singing,
falling up into the bowl of sky.
The bowl breaks. Everywhere is falling everywhere.
Nothing else to do.

Here's the new rule: break the wineglass,
and fall toward the glassblower's breath

&

This that is tormented and very tired,
tortured with restraints like a madman,
this heart.
Still you keep breaking the shell
to get the taste of its kernel!

-- Rumi

The time tested matieral in a non-spiritual way..

2007-04-02T16:06:00.000-04:00

Look at this article...

http://www.westegg.com/unmaintained/carnegie/win-friends.html

One can assume that it lies in the premise that the more genuine connections that we have in our life, the happier life we have.

Now, it is very easy to see what my daily effort should be spent toward.

Teachings on love Chap 7 & 8

2007-03-28T21:42:00.000-04:00

Chapter 7 Deep listening and Loving speech

* We have so many means of communication, TV, radio, telephone, fax, email, WWW, yet we remain islands with very little communication between family members, individuals in society or nations.

* When we cannot communicate, we get sick, and we suffer, we spill our suffering onto other people. We pay psychotherapists to listen to us, but psychotherapists are just human beings who also have problems, too.

* One person looking at the root of your suffering is good. Two persons looking at it is better. Two people looking at it together is best.

* Don't discuss the problems when you are hurt. Make an appointment to discuss it with the person. Also, wait to see if your hurt has transformed by then. If not, when you speak, you tell the deepest kind of truth, using loving speech, the kind of speech that the other person can understand and accept. When you listen, listen with all your attention and emphasize others.

* When someone says "I love you," it may be a lie. It may just be an expression of desire. We have to be attentive. In the Buddhism tradition, right speech is described as refraining from these four actions.
(1) Not telling the truth.
(2) Exaggerating
(3) Forked tongue
(4) Filthy language

* Two aspects: speak and listen

(David and Angelina story...)

* When we are in anger (or irritated), refrain ourselves from speaking. Wait until we are calm and speak with clarity and truthfulness.

Chapter 8 Living mindfully together

* Think of your first love, how it came about, where it took place, what brought you to that moment. Recall the details of experience and look at them calmly and deeply with compassion and understanding. You will discover things that you did not notice the first time. You will discover that your "first love" was not really the first. Many streams nourish and support the river of your life. Your first love has no beginning and no end; it is always in transformation. Your first love is still present, continuing to shape your life.

* When you fell in love, you constructed a beautiful image that you projected onto your partner.

12 steps

2007-02-28T15:58:00.000-05:00

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Mind is the forerunner of everything...

2007-02-27T07:27:00.000-05:00

But I have all the liberty to decide what state of my mind that I would like to put in. The vision is a powerful sense to affect how my mind would feel. Just image if I constantly put myself in a blue sky scenery, would I feel bad? just image if I constantly watch trashy TV programs and mindless commercials, what would I feel? If I watch unwholesome pictures all the time, what kind of impact it will have on my mind? So is the hearing a great sense of affecting mind. What if I only speak mindfully and speak according to NVC principle, what kind of positive impact it will have on my mind?

Mind is the forerunner of everything and ultimately has the total control of what I would feel.

E=MC2

2007-02-20T16:01:00.000-05:00

I do believe Einstein fused with the cosmos
when he flashed upon e=mc²…
for years I contemplated his brilliant equation --
and didn't get it,
until, at the lotus feet of guru, I stumbled upon
the spiritual bridge between the worlds.
and here it is --
Buddha's spiritual theory of evolution --
that all things are inherently Imperfect,
and Impermanent
that we Own No-Thing
not even those dusty shoes
we left outside that ancient temple door.
there are No Accidents --
our sitting together and sharing essence was
preordained.
forget Fixed Judgments --
they keep you stuck in sludge.
Transform!
Two cooks with the same ingredients produce
different meals --
and it all derives from how we
think, speak, and act --
a simple way of defining Karma.
And that, in the ultimate analysis,
we are all Einstein and much more –
e=mc² to infinity.

I think Einstein was in touch with the universe
when he flashed open E=MC².
For years I contemplated his brilliant equation --
and didn't get it,
until I stumbled upon the spiritual bridge between the worlds.
and here it is --
Buddha's spiritual theory of evolution --
that all things are inherently imperfect, impermanent
that we own nothing
not even these dusty shoes you left outside
that ancient temple door.
there are no accidents our sitting together and sharing essence was preordained.
Forget fixed judgments --
they keep you stuck in sludge.
Transform!
Two cooks with the same ingredients produce different meals --
and it all derives from how we think, speak, and act --
another way of defining karma --
We are all Einstein E=MC² to infinity.

-Mira @ Yogaville

David Swensen's Advice for the Individual Investor

2007-02-14T23:57:00.000-05:00

David Swensen's Advice for the Individual Investor

Swensen shares more investing advice in his book Unconventional Success.

NPR.org, October 5, 2006 · Beware of the Mutual Fund Myth: Many Americans seem to like the idea of pooling their money in an actively managed mutual fund -- where, presumably, a professional money manager can invest it better than they could themselves.

But Swensen says that doesn't work. He says for-profit mutual funds have an inherent conflict of interest. They make money by charging fees that suck profits away from investors in the funds. In fact, over time -- when you factor in the fees, taxes and other costs -- he says your odds of beating the market in an actively managed fund are less than one in 100.

Most mutual funds get far too big and own far too many stocks, Swensen says. In Unconventional Success, he writes that, when a fund is holding 30 to 50 stocks or more, the odds become very likely that the fund will start to track its broader market category. Stock picking becomes less important as the winners and losers in the fund average out much like the broader market. So why pay someone a lot of money to pick stocks?

He says mutual fund investors also lose from commissions and market impact associated with all the churn -- that is, the buying and selling of stocks in the fund.

Invest in Nonprofit Index Funds: Since at least 99 percent of mutual funds aren't going to beat the overall market, Swensen says individuals should invest in nonprofit funds that track market segments, such as the S&P 500. There are a range of index funds that track the U.S. domestic stock market, international markets, emerging markets and the real-estate market.

Swensen says mutual funds that are organized on a not-for-profit basis don't have the same conflict of interest as for-profit funds, and they charge lower fees.

The fees are even lower with nonprofit index funds, because you're not paying money managers to research stocks and buy and sell them. The fund simply holds all the stocks listed in that index. And because well-structured index funds have low churn (turnover), they are remarkably tax efficient.

Pick the Right Investment Mix and Keep Your Money There. Don't Move It Around! Swensen says that individual investors will make the greatest return by focusing on the right way to carve up their portfolio into different areas of investment (see the pie chart at top left). He says they should then stick with that mix.

Don't, for example, try to decide when to buy U.S. stocks and sell a lot of bonds, in an effort to predict which way those markets are heading. If you do that, he says, you're going to lose over time, because you'll be competing directly with professionals like him.

Swensen has a team of 20 analysts -- and a small army of boutique investment houses -- working long hours to predict which way certain market segments or individual stocks will move. Who do you think is going to buy and sell at the right time? Remember: If somebody buys low and sells high, somebody else is buying high from them. You don't want to be that person.

Rebalance Your Portfolio: Swensen rebalances his portfolio at Yale at least every day, and often many times throughout the day. What does that mean?

Let's say U.S. stocks go up 2 percent one afternoon, while international stocks decline by 1 percent. If you have holdings in both areas, the percentage of your portfolio that's in U.S. stocks has grown a bit, and the foreign-equity portion has shrunk a little. Over time, this process can really change the face of your portfolio -- especially if you continue to reinvest your earnings, or make contributions to a 401k or 403b, without ever rebalancing.

So, Swensen says, you need to regularly rebalance your holdings to keep them steady. That way, when the value of foreign stocks or emerging-market stocks rises, you'll own more of them -- and will make more money -- if you rebalanced while these stocks were cheaper.

Adjust Your Portfolio as You Near Retirement: As you get older and closer to retirement, it's obviously important to have enough money in less risky, more predictable investments.

But rather than changing all the numbers on your "asset allocation" pie chart depending on your age, Swensen prefers to think about this question in a way that's easier to grasp. He says as people age, they can keep their investment portfolio set up the way it always has been. But they should start to move money out of it, across all investment categories proportionally, and transfer the money into an account that's invested in money-market funds or short-term, inflation-indexed bonds.

Mark Coleman

2007-02-14T23:44:00.000-05:00

Tonight I went to Mark's talk @ IMCW. It has been a long time since he paid a visit to DC. I was thrilled to go see him with some of my innate reservation. The talk was nice and it seems to be part of his book tour. To be with the nature is a good way to bring the awareness into the mind. His talk and his manner remind me how open and spacious Buddhism practice could be! How wonderful!

Here is his website: Awake In the Wild

At the end of the meditation, I ran into an old girlfriend and I had no ill will at all when I saw her. What an amazing accomplishment that this practice has helped me. The true love and compassion shines through any corner of darkness

NVC Keywords

2007-02-12T13:12:00.000-05:00


Feelings When Our Needs Are Met                 Feelings When Our Needs Are NOT Met.
AFFECTIONATE    EXCITED     JOYFUL              AFRAID      CONFUSED    EMBARRASSED     TENSE
Compassionate   Amazed      Amused              Dreading    Ambivalent  Ashamed         Anxious
Friendly        Aroused     Delighted           Frightened  Bewildered  Guilty          Cranky
Loving          Astonished  Glad                Mistrustful Hesitant    Self-conscious  Distressed
Open hearted    Eager       Happy               Panicked    Lost                        Distraught
Sympathetic     Energetic   Jubilant            Scared      Mystitied   FATIGUED        Edgy
Tender          Enthusiastic Pleased            Suspicious  Perplexed   Beat            Fidgety
Warm            Invigorated Tickled             Terrified   Puzzled     Burnt out       Frazzled
                Lively                          Wary        Torn        Depleted        Irritable
CONFIDENT       Passionate  PEACEFUL            Worried                 Exhausted       Jittery
Empowered       Surprised   Calm                            DISCONNECTED Sleepy         Nervous
Open            Vibrant     Clear headed        ANNOYED     Alienated   Tired           Overwhelmed
Proud                       Comfortable         Aggravated  Bored       Worn out        Restless
Safe            EXHILARATED Centered            Dismayed    Cold                        Stressed out
Secure          Blissful    Content             Displeased  Detached    PAIN
                Ecstatic    Equanimous          Exasperated Distant     Anguished       VULNERABLE
ENGAGED         Elated      Fulfilled           Frustrated  Distracted  Devastated      Fragile
Absorbed        Exuberant   Mellow              Impatient   Numb        Grieved         Helpless

Where is my crying baby?

2007-02-06T11:16:00.000-05:00

The untrained and unskillful mind run wild easily. When I get complacent and caved into the bad habit and pattern, I do unmindful things. The result usually is strained eyes, messy desk, scattering clothes, CDs,... It is not very satisfactory. Neither is fulfilling. Where is my crying baby? Where is the lazy bone?

I will find you and nurture it. Keep asking the questions and the answer will come and action shall follow.

Miyamoto Musashi's painting

2007-01-29T23:04:00.000-05:00

One of the monochrome paintings he produced later in life "The Shrike" expresses his ultimate teaching of swordsmanship, namely, "the myriad principles are all of the Void." The insect that can be seen roughly in the middle of the painting, crawling up the branch of the withered tree, provides us with a hint of the meaning of swordsmanship hidden within the work.

Ono interprets the painting as such: The Shrike is waiting for the fish in the pond. She could shake the dead branch to make the insect fall into the water which will entice fish to come out and eat the bug. Before then, the insect has eaten up all the leaves of the tree which was transformed into a dead tree. The shrike could catch the fish, and strike her catch to the other pointed branch to kill it.

Thus: Fish kills worm; worm kills tree; shrike kills fish...; The unseen kills shrike; new trees grow around the dead tree; Shrike, fish, worm, dead trees all turn into fertilizer to grow the new tree. Such is a cycle of life..

Tonight I went to JICC to hear a talk and martial art performance given by Yotaro Ono. The topic is "The Warrior's Garden: The Essence of Miyamoto Musashi's Zen and Sword". The garden is an expression of the enlightened mind of Miyamoto Musahsi, the great swordsman who lived four hundred years ago. The garden relates the state of Musashi's body, intent, and mind during combat. His body, like a rock, is unmoving. His intent is constantly streaming, like the water flowing off the rock. It is represented by the unceasing flow of a river on a cold winter night. His mind is like the full moon reflected on the river, polished and refined like a mirror without blemish.

Extension of self care

2007-01-18T12:12:00.000-05:00

Even in a selfish act, there is a sense of care and protection to oneself. It is very evident. Is selfishness always a bad thing? Sometimes, we could look closely and examine what is underneath. So, the basic care and self-preserving is there... does that imply care and love are born inherently in humans? It is just that we need to learn how to extend this inherent care and love to others. Or we need to learn a better skill to express this. A selfish act seems like a very ruidmentary expression of love and care. It is not very satisfying. It is same with learning to play piano. If you only dwell on playing Fur Eles, it is not very satisfying. The key is to train the skill and express it in a better/finer/more satisfying way.

December 30, 2006

2006-12-29T21:53:00.000-05:00

It is almost year end. I am staying with Dad at his room. I am typing away my thoughts here and he is sitting there watching TV.

"I could feel how you feel for Raja and Jedi. I am feeling that for a human being, though.. It is my Dad. Dad is really getting older and older. I am spending most of my time with him here in Taipei. I am writing this email right at his bed side. Spending time with him made me realize that death is waiting for him, me, and everyone else. There is a beginning and there is an end. In between is the interesting/challenging/exciting/difficult part. :-)"

I could simply concentrate on the things that I need to do, for work, to research traveling in Japan. The pain and doubtful feelings come from my restless mind. I am constantly in want of excitement and short-term gratification.

Life & Death

2006-12-20T01:34:00.000-05:00

Poems about "Life & Death" by Rumi

look at love
how it tangles
with the one fallen in love

look at spirit
how it fuses with earth
giving it new life

why are you so busy
with this or that or good or bad
pay attention to how things blend

why talk about all
the known and the unknown
see how the unknown merges into the known

why think seperately
of this life and the next
when one is born from the last

look at your heart and tongue
one feels but deaf and dumb
the other speaks in words and signs

look at water and fire
earth and wind
enemies and friends all at once

the wolf and the lamb
the lion and the deer
far away yet together

look at the unity of this
spring and winter
manifested in the equinox

you too must mingle my friends
since the earth and the sky
are mingled just for you and me

be like sugarcane
sweet yet silent
don't get mixed up with bitter words

my beloved grows
right out of my own heart
how much more union can there be

{

come on sweetheart
let's adore one another
before there is no more
of you and me

a mirror tells the truth
look at your grim face
brighten up and cast away
your bitter smile

a generous friend
gives life for a friend
let's rise above this
animalistic behavior
and be kind to one another

spite darkens friendships
why not cast away
malice from our heart

once you think of me
dead and gone
you will make up with me
you will miss me
you may even adore me

why be a worshiper of the dead
think of me as a goner
come and make up now

since you will come
and throw kisses
at my tombstone later
why not give them to me now
this is me
that same person

i may talk too much
but my heart is silence
what else can i do
i am condemned to live this life

{*****}

i've come again
like a new year
to crash the gate
of this old prison

i've come again
to break the teeth and claws
of this man-eating
monster we call life

i've come again
to puncture the
glory of the cosmos
who mercilessly
destroys humans

i am the falcon
hunting down the birds
of black omen
before their flights

i gave my word
at the outset to
give my life
with no qualms
i pray to the Lord
to break my back
before i break my word

how do you dare to
let someone like me
intoxicated with love
enter your house

you must know better
if i enter
i'll break all this and
destroy all that

if the sheriff arrives
i'll throw the wine
in his face
if your gatekeeper
pulls my hand
i'll break his arm

if the heavens don't go round
to my heart's desire
i'll crush its wheels and
pull out its roots

you have set up
a colorful table
calling it life and
asked me to your feast
but punish me if
i enjoy myself

what tyranny is this

{

you mustn't be afraid of death
you're a deathless soul
you can't be kept in a dark grave
you're filled with God's glow

be happy with your beloved
you can't find any better
the world will shimmer
because of the diamond you hold

when your heart is immersed
in this blissful love
you can easily endure
any bitter face around

in the absence of malice
there is nothing but
happiness and good times
don't dwell in sorrow my friend

Translated by Nader Khalili "Rumi, Fountain of Fire"
Cal-Earth Press, 1994

{

Remember me.

I will be with you in the grave
on the night you leave behind
your shop and your family.
When you hear my soft voice
echoing in your tomb,
you will realize
that you were never hidden from my eyes.
I am the pure awareness within your heart,
with you during joy and celebration,
suffering and despair.

On that strange and fateful night
you will hear a familar voice --
you'll be rescued from the fangs of snakes
and the searing sting of scorpions.
The euphoria of love will sweep over your grave;
it will bring wine and friends, candles and food.

When the light of realization dawns,
shouting and upheaval
will rise up from the graves!
The dust of ages will be stirred
by the cities of ecstasy,
by the banging of drums,
by the clamor of revolt!

Dead bodies will tear off their shrouds
and stuff their ears in fright--
What use are the senses and the ears
before the blast of that Trumpet?

Look and you will see my form
whether you are looking at yourself
or toward that noise and confusion.

Don't be blurry-eyed,
See me clearly-
See my beauty without the old eyes of delusion.

Beware! Beware!
Don't mistake me for this human form.
The soul is not obscured by forms.
Even if it were wrapped in a hundred folds of felt
the rays of the soul's light
would still shine through.

Beat the drum,
Follow the minstrels of the city.
It's a day of renewal
when every young man
walks boldly on the path of love.

Had everyone sought God
Instead of crumbs and copper coins
T'hey would not be sitting on the edge of the moat
in darkness and regret.

What kind of gossip-house
have you opened in our city?
Close your lips
and shine on the world
like loving sunlight.

Shine like the Sun of Tabriz rising in the East.
Shine like the star of victory.
Shine like the whole universe is yours!

translated by Jonathan Star
"Rumi - In the Arms of the Beloved"

{

HOW SHOULD THE SOUL not take wings
when from the Glory of God

It hears a sweet, kindly call:
"Why are you here, soul? Arise!"

How should a fish not leap fast
into the sea from dry land

When from the ocean so cool
the sound of the waves reaches its

How should the falcon not fly
back to his king from the hunt

When from the falconer's drum
it hears to call: "Oh, come back"?

Why should not every Sufi
begin to dance atom-like

Around the Sun of duration
that saves from impermanence?

What graciousness and what beauty?
What life-bestowing! What grace!

If anyone does without that, woe-
what err, what suffering!

Oh fly , of fly, O my soul-bird,
fly to your primordial home!

You have escaped from the cage now-
your wings are spread in the air.

Oh travel from brackish water
now to the fountain of life!

Return from the place of the sandals
now to the high seat of souls!

Go on! Go on! we are going,
and we are coming, O soul,

From this world of separation
to union, a world beyond worlds!

How long shall we here in the dust-world
like children fill our skirts

With earth and with stones without value,
with broken shards without worth?

Let's take our hand from the dust grove,
let's fly to the heavens' high,

Let's fly from our childish behaviour
and join the banquet of men!

Call out, O soul, to proclaim now
that you are rules and king!

You have the grace of the answer,
you know the question as well!

{

HE SAID: "Who's knocking at my door?"
Said I: "Your humble servant!"
Said He: "What business have you got?"
Said I: "I came to greet You!"
Said He: "How long are you to push?"
Said I: "Until You'll call me!"
Said He: "How long are you to boil?"
Said I: "Till resurrection!"
I claimed I was a lover true
and I took may oaths
That for the sake of love I lost
my kingdom and my wealth!
He said: "You make a claim - the judge
needs witness for your cause!"
Said I: "My witness is my tears,
my proof my yellow face!"
Said He: "The witness is corrupt,
your eye is wet and ill!"
Said I: "No, by Your eminence:
My eye is sinless clear!"
He said: "And what do you intend?"
Said I: "Just faithful friendships!"
Said He: "What do you want from me?"
Said I: "Your grace abundant!"
Said He: "Who travelled here with you?"
Said I: "Your dream and phantom!"
Said He: "And what led you to me?"
Said I: "Your goblet's fragrance!"
Said He: "What is most pleasant, say?"
Said I: "The ruler's presence!"
Said He: "What did you see there, friend?"
Said I: "A hundred wonders!"
Said He: "Why is it empty now?"
Said I: "From fear of brigands!"
Said He: "The brigand, who is that?"
Said I: "IT is the blaming!"
Said He: "And where is safety then?"
Said: "In renunciation."
Said He: "Renunciation? That's ... ?"
Said I: "The path to safety!"
Said He: "And where is danger, then?"
Said I: "In Your love's quarters!"
Said He: "And how do you fare there?"
Said I: "Steadfast and happy."
I tested you and tested you,
but it availed to nothing -
Who tests the one who was once tried,
he will repent forever!
Be silent! If I'd utter here
the secrets fine he told me,
You would go out all of yourself,
no door nor roof could hold you!

{

OH HAPPY DAY when in you presence,
my ruler, I shall die!
When near the sugar-treasure melting
like sugar I shall die!
Out of my dust will grow a thousand
of centrifolias
When in the shade of yonder cypress
in gardens I shall die.
And when you pour into my goblet
the bitter drink of death,
I'll kiss the goblet full of joy, dear,
and drunken I shall die.
I may turn yellow like the autumn
when people speak of death,
Thanks to your smiling lip: like springtime
and smiling shall I die.
I have died many times, but your breath
made me alive again,
Should I die thus a hundred more times
I happily shall die!
A child that dies in mother's bosom,
that's how I am, my friend,
For in the bosom of His Mercy
and kindness, I shall die.
Say: Where would death be for the lovers?
Impossible is that!
For in the fountain of the Water
of Life - there I shall die!

translated by Annemarie Schimmel, 'Look! This is Love'

{

WHY CLING

Why cling to one life
till it is soiled and ragged?

The sun dies and dies
squandering a hundred lived
every instant

God has decreed life for you
and He will give
another and another and another

(translated by Daniel Liebert)
Mathnawi V. 411-414 (translated by Kabir Helminski)
The Rumi Collection, Edited by Kabir Helminski

{

At the twilight, a moon appeared in the sky;
Then it landed on earth to look at me.
Like a hawk stealing a bird at the time of prey;
That moon stole me and rushed back into the sky.
I looked at myself, I did not see me anymore;
For in that moon, my body turned as fine as soul.
The nine spheres disappeared in that moon;
The ship of my existence drowned in that sea.

Divan, 649:1-3,5

{

Now sleeping, now awake, my hart is in constant fervor.
It is a covered saucepan, placed on fire.
O you! who have offered us from a cup a silencing wine;
Each moment a new tale is shouting to be told in silence.
In his wrath there are a hundred kindnesess, in his meanness a hundred generosities;
In his ignorance immeasurable gnosis, silently speaking like the mind.
The words of those whom you have silenced, cannot hear
but those whom you have made unconscious;
I am both silent and fermenting for you like the sea of Aden!

Divan, 1808:6-9

Translated by Fatemeh Keshavarz,
'Reading Mystical Lyric: The Case of Jalal al-Din Rumi
University of South Carolina Press, 1998.

Tips on Reducing Accent

2006-12-11T23:55:00.000-05:00

(http://www.gbmc.org/voice/foreign.cfm)

Tips on Reducing Accent

* Watch the mouth movements of native speakers! Observe the mouth movements of native American speakers. Repeat what they are saying, imitating the intonation and rhythm of their speech.
* Slow down! Until you learn the correct intonation and rhythm of English, slow down your speech. If you speak too quickly with the wrong intonation and rhythm, native speakers will have a hard time understanding you.
* Use your dictionary! Become familiar with the phonetic symbols of your dictionary and look up the correct pronunciation of words that are hard for you to say.
* Ask someone! Make a list of frequently used words that are difficult for you to pronounce and ask a native speaker to pronounce them for you. Record these words, listen to them, and practice saying them.
* Listen to books on tape! Listen and read at the same time. Record yourself reading some sections of the book. Compare the sound of your English with that of the speaker.
* Pay attention to word endings! Pronounce the ending of each word. Pay special attention to “s” and “ed” endings.
* Read aloud! Read aloud in English, such as a novel or the newspaper, for fifteen to twenty minutes each day. This will help you strengthen the mouth muscles that you use when you speak English. Research has shown that it takes about three months of daily practice to develop strong mouth muscles for speaking a new language.
* Listen to yourself! Record your own voice and listen for pronunciation mistakes. This is an excellent exercise because it will help you become conscious of the mistakes that you are making.
* Be patient! You can change the way you speak but it won’t happen overnight. People often expect instant results and give up too soon. You can change the way you sound if you are willing to put some effort into it.

The Zahia

2006-12-11T22:00:00.000-05:00

* All you have to do is to pay attention; lessons always arrive when you are ready, and if you can read the signs, you will learn everything you need to know in order to take the next step.
* We humans have two great problems: the first is knowing when to begin; the second is knowing when to stop.

"Marie, let's suppose that two firemen go into a forest to put out a small fire. Afterward, when they emerge and go over to a stream, the face of one is all smeared with black, while the other man's face is completely clean. My question is this: Which of the tow will wash his face?"

"That's a silly question. The one with the dirty face, of course."

"No, the one with the dirty face will look at the other man and assume that he looks like him. And, vice versa, the man with the clean face will see his colleague covered in grime and say to himself: I must be dirty too. I'd better have a wash."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying that, during the time I spent in the hospital, I came to realize that I was always looking for myself in the women I loved. I looked at their lovely, clean faces and saw myself reflected in them. They, on the other hand, looked at me and saw the dirt on my face and, however intelligent or self-confident they were, they ended up seeing themselves reflected in me and thinking that they were worse than they were. Please, don't let that happen to you."

I would like to have added: that's what happned to Esther, and I've only just realized it, remembering how the look in her eyes changed. I'd always absorbed her life and her energy, and that made me feel happy and confident, able to go forward. She, on the other ahnd, had looked at me and felt ugly, diminished, because, as the years passed, my career - the career that she had done so much to take a reality - had relegated our relationship to second place.

If I was to see her again, my face needed to be as clean as hers. Before I could find her, I must first find myself.

Seeds

2006-12-10T21:36:00.000-05:00

(Notes from the retreat)
* Meditation is to identify the seeds in us so that we could nourish good seeds and avoid bad seeds.
* mental formation coming out of seeds stored in us. Seeds are passed on both by our parents and ancestors.
* mental formation is manifested as energy
* 5 skandas (1. Form (aka body) 2. Feeling 3. Perception 4. Mental Formation 5. Consciousness)
* to be = to inter be
* to be empty = to be empty of a separated self (to be empty... to be empty of what?)
* contemplation of the body in the body

Prayer of St. Francis

2006-12-03T17:54:00.000-05:00

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Create the flow

2006-12-03T17:46:00.000-05:00

* always strive for the higher skills for the same old trick
* always look at the same old routine with fresh perspective
* realize the habit of surfing for news on the web, it lies on the immediate need for some instant thrill. why do I need that instant thrill? It is not good for me in the long run.
* topics to research:
a. pronunciation - how to improve my pronunciation

Impermanance

2006-12-02T17:43:00.000-05:00

I shall never expect things to stay the same. Things won't ever stay the same. Friendships with old friends change. They usually wither without being tendered or through distance and time. I can't expect that old friends treat me the say way that they did before when we were new friends. Hopefully, we all grow old and wise at the same time.

Gratitude...

2006-11-19T15:56:00.000-05:00

Whenever I am feeling down, I should pick up a pen and write down the gratitude that I have for my existence...

1. I am grateful for people to come to my house and watch the movie with me this afternoon.

2. I am grateful for all the words of wisdom that they share with me.

3. I am grateful to a small condo that I own.

4. I am grateful to the projector that I could borrow to show the film.

5. I am grateful to people that cleaned up the dishes before they leaf.

Ten Wholesome Qualities In Our Minds

2006-11-09T10:42:00.000-05:00

Ten Wholesome Qualities In Our Minds

In the broadest conception of the path, in the vast context of spiritualpractice, we cultivate and nourish certain qualities that support and propel us forward into freedom. The Pali word parami refers to ten wholsome qualities in our minds and the accumulated power they bring to us: generosity, morality, renunciation, wisdom, energy, patience, truthfulness, resolve, lovingkindness, and equanimity. . . . Parami does not come from some being outside ourselves; rather, it comes from our own gradually accumulated purity. A Buddhist understanding of reliance on a higher power
would not necessarily involve reliance on some supernatural being. It is, rather, a reliance on those forces of purity in ourselves that are outside our small, constricted sense of I, and that constitute the source of grace in our lives.

-Joseph Goldstein, Insight Meditation
from Everyday Mind, edited by Jean Smith, a Tricycle book

HOWL

2006-10-30T13:14:00.001-05:00

The famouse Ginsberg's poem

Ginsberg etc.
http://cda.mrs.umn.edu/~beaversg/ginsberg

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Howl